In this uplifting romp through late-stage democracy, Lisa and Tina dissect Josh Hawley’s brave crusade against poor people (via Medicaid), revisit the Epstein files that somehow never seem to reach the right courtroom, and marvel at how QAnon turned child trafficking into fan fiction. Along the way, they explore how private prisons are thriving off immigrant misery and how humanitarian aid was deemed too generous under the Trump doctrine. Spoiler: It’s all a mess — but at least we can laugh while the ship sinks.