Journeys

Trigger Warnings: This episode includes discussion of depression, suicidal thoughts, grief, and cancer.

What happens when the life you imagined isn't the life you end up living?

For years, Takiko Hosokawa wondered why her life seemed so different from the lives of those around her. As friends dated, married, and built families, she found herself asking a painful question: What's wrong with me?

But Takiko's journey would become about much more than being single.

In this episode of Journeys, Takiko shares her experiences with depression, caring for her aging parents, profound loss, stomach cancer, and the unexpected realization during treatment that she wanted to live.

Now 60, Takiko doesn't pretend every part of her story is resolved. Instead, she talks candidly about resilience, self-worth, healing, and learning to embrace a life that looks different from the one she once imagined.

Because sometimes becoming isn't about finally having the life we thought we were supposed to have.

It's about discovering the value of the person we've become along the way.

Connect with Takiko:

Support Journeys:

Journeys is a podcast by Radiant ✦ Grace Productions.

Darkness doesn’t always arrive with warning. Sometimes it slips in through exhaustion, grief, illness, or the realization that life no longer looks the way you imagined.

In “When You Find Yourself in Darkness,” Rachel Koko shares her experience living with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), grieving her former abilities, navigating depression, and wrestling with questions about faith and healing.

Through personal reflections and stories from scripture, she explores how God meets us in these different kinds of darkness—with compassion for our limits, room for our grief, and love that does not depend on our bodies being healed.

Originally released under the Radiant Grace Podcast, this episode is now shared as part of the Reflections series of Journeys. You’ll hear the original podcast name in the recording.

Hope does not always arrive as relief. Sometimes it arrives as the reminder that we are not alone—even while we are still hurting, waiting, and living with unanswered questions.

The world teaches us to measure our worth by what we can produce, accomplish, manage, or carry on our own.

But what happens when our bodies change, independence fades, or illness enters the story? Does needing help make us less worthy of love?

In “Still Worthy,” Rachel Koko reflects on worth when life no longer looks the way we planned—and the truth that changing abilities and needing support do not diminish our value.

Originally released as my fourth podcast episode under Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, this episode is now shared as part of the Reflections series of Journeys. You’ll hear the original podcast name in the recording.

Your worth is not suspended when your independence fades. You do not need to prove you are still useful to be worthy of love. You are already known, already claimed, and already of infinite worth.

Have you ever worn a mask?

Not the kind that covers your face — but the kind that hides your heart.

The mask that says, “I’m fine.”

Even when you’re falling apart inside.

In “Taking Off the Mask,” Rachel Koko reflects on the ways we hide our fear, anxiety, shame, and exhaustion—and God’s gentle invitation to stop pretending, stop performing, and begin healing.

Originally released as my third podcast episode under Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, this episode is now shared as part of the Reflections series of Journeys. You’ll hear the original podcast name in the recording.

As you listen, consider: What mask are you wearing? What would your life look like if you finally took it off?

May you find the courage to take one small step toward letting yourself be seen and knowing how deeply loved you are.

Originally released as my second podcast episode, “The Beginning of Broken Things” is now shared as part of the Reflections series of Journeys.

This early episode is part of the foundation of Finding Joy in the Broken and the storytelling journey that eventually became Journeys. I’m sharing it again to bring those first pieces of my podcast into this next chapter.

Thank you for listening and revisiting the beginning with me.

Originally released as my very first podcast episode, “When You Don’t Feel Qualified” is now part of the Reflections series.

What do you do when you feel drawn to something but wonder whether you’re qualified to begin?

In this episode, Rachel Koko reflects on self-doubt, faith, and taking a step forward even when you don’t feel ready. It’s an invitation to consider what might be possible when you make room to learn and grow along the way.

High above the San Juan River in southeastern Utah stands the Jason R. Workman Memorial Bridge. To many travelers, it's simply the bridge leading into Mexican Hat. But behind its name is the story of a young Navy SEAL whose life of courage, sacrifice, and service continues to be remembered by those who pass this way.

In this first episode of Journeys: Discoveries, Rachel explores how a simple stop on a road trip became the beginning of a much deeper journey. What started as curiosity about a bridge's name unfolded into a story about remembrance, military service, and the importance of preserving the stories hidden within the places we visit.

Continue the conversation at RadiantGraceProductions.com, where you'll find expanded show notes, behind-the-scenes content, resources, photos, and a community exploring the stories that continue long after each episode ends.

Podcast Series: Journeys: Discoveries, a podcast by Radiant Grace Productions 

Theme Music: Style - IPFXSUWDW5K0FZYC- from Riverside royalty free music library

Photography & Images:

Jason R Workman Bridge; By Steven Baltakatei Sandoval - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=79586587

The photograph is of the U.S. Route 163 bridge crossing the San Juan River near Mexican Hat, Utah. The bridge is also known as the Jason R. Workman Memorial Bridge after being renamed in 2016. Photograph taken on 2019-03-03T00:17:09Z.

What happens when life changes the way you see yourself?

For many of us, identity becomes intertwined with the roles we fill, the expectations we carry, the achievements we pursue, and the things we are able to do. But what happens when those things begin to change? In this premiere episode of Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, Rachel shares the personal journey that led to the creation of the podcast and the question that continues to shape her life:

Who am I becoming?

After a diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) dramatically changed the course of her life, Rachel found herself confronting questions about identity, worth, purpose, and what remains when the labels we build our lives around no longer fit.

Through her story, she explores the difference between who we are and what we do, why our worth is deeper than our circumstances, and how healing sometimes begins when we stop trying to become who we used to be and start discovering who we are becoming.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever wondered:

Who am I when life doesn't go according to plan?

What happens when the roles I've relied on begin to change?

Where does my worth come from?

Who am I becoming?

Rachel's personal journey with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)

How life changes can challenge our sense of identity

The difference between who we are and what we do

Why worth is not earned

The story behind Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful

The question that will shape future episodes: Who am I becoming?

Your worth is not determined by your productivity, appearance, abilities, achievements, or circumstances.

It never was.

You are valuable because of who you are, not because of what you do.

Who are you becoming?

Not who you were before.

Not who others expect you to be.

But who is God helping you to become through all of it?

Join the Free Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful Community

Connect with others, continue the conversation, and be part of a community focused on identity, worth, healing, and becoming.

Support Radiant Grace Productions

Become a member to help support the podcast and gain access to guest Q&As, behind-the-scenes content, exclusive episodes, and other member benefits.

Learn more at RadiantGraceProductions.com

Your story matters.

Not just the healed chapters.

Not just the victories.

The becoming matters too.

There is no one else in this world who can be your kind of beautiful.

Choose to Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful.

If you met yourself today for the very first time, would you be kind to that person?

There was a time when Rachel knew exactly who she was. She knew what she could do, what her future looked like, and what she expected from herself. But when illness and unexpected life changes altered the course of her life, she found herself grieving a version of herself she could no longer return to.

In this episode of Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, Rachel explores the difficult process of learning to love yourself after life changes the way you see yourself.

Through her personal journey with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), she shares the grief of identity loss, the struggle of comparing herself to who she used to be, and the realization that healing is not always about becoming the person you were before.

Sometimes healing begins when we learn to extend grace to the person standing in front of us today.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt like they no longer recognize themselves and wondered how to move forward when life doesn't go according to plan.

Grieving the version of yourself you used to be

Living with the uncertainty of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)

The emotional impact of chronic illness and life changes

Why we often measure ourselves by outdated expectations

Learning self-compassion during difficult seasons

Identity beyond abilities, accomplishments, and independence

Extending grace to the person you are today

Maybe learning to love yourself again isn't learning to love the person you used to be.

Maybe it's learning to extend grace to the person standing in front of you today.

If you met yourself today for the very first time, would you be kind to that person?

Join the Free Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful Community

Connect with others, continue the conversation, and be part of a community focused on identity, worth, healing, and becoming.

Support Radiant Grace Productions

Become a member to help support the podcast and gain access to guest Q&As, behind-the-scenes content, exclusive episodes, and other member benefits.

Learn more at RadiantGraceProductions.com.

You do not have to earn your worth back.

You do not have to become who you were before in order to be valuable today.

Your story is still unfolding.

And even if you don't fully recognize yourself right now, that doesn't mean you've lost yourself.

You may simply be meeting a new version of who you're becoming.

Remember there is no one else in this world who can be your kind of beautiful.

Choose to Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful.

Happy Thoughts: A Conversation with Filmmaker Tommy Pepper

At just 18 years old, Vietnamese American filmmaker Tommy Pepper transformed a deeply personal experience into Happy Thoughts—a short film exploring grief, mental health, family, and the emotions that are often difficult to express.

Created through Spy Hop’s PitchNic program with support from members of Utah’s Vietnamese American community, Happy Thoughts premiered at Salt Lake City’s Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center. The film later received the Scholarstone Award as a 2026 Zepfest round winner.

In this episode, Tommy shares the story behind the film and reflects on what it meant to turn personal pain into something that could help others feel seen. We talk about cultural expectations, emotional honesty, the filmmaking process, and why creating space for difficult conversations can be an important part of healing.

This conversation is a reminder that storytelling can do more than entertain us. It can help us understand one another, give language to feelings we have struggled to express, and remind someone that they are not alone.

Learn More & Connect

Follow Tommy Pepper on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tommypepperfilms/

Learn more about Spy Hop, the nonprofit youth media arts organization where Happy Thoughts was developed:https://spyhop.org/

Mental Health Support

Promise2Live encourages people who are struggling to reach out to someone they trust and helps communities begin lifesaving conversations:https://www.promise2live.org/

If you or someone you know needs immediate support in the United States, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Music Credit

Music: Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: 4H6ZBXT1KHUOGE9M