J1ST 046: When Trust Seems Foolish

Hey friends! Today's podcast is a little different, and perhaps a little more personal that usual. We recently went through another miscarriage and are dealing with that. This loss is particularly hard because we are still grieving the loss of a baby at 20 weeks, who died on Thanksgiving of last year.  I thought about not mentioning this recent loss at all on the podcast, but you all have so generously shared with me and I know that healing can only take place when we open up and share what has happened to us. This episode will walk you through this entire experience of loss. If you too are suffering through a loss right now, I hope that my story brings you comfort. We can't see God' whole plan, and if you are feeling frustrated with God right now, I get it. I feel the same way. It is hard for me not to get hung up on what is fair.  And yet, we are called to trust, even though trusting (and hoping) feels like the stupidest thing we could possibly do.  For the past couple months I have been on a quest to build trust in my relationship with God. I have felt this pull most profoundly through the life and experiences of St. Fautina of Poland and the Divine Mercy which was revealed to her. I have found comfort and challenge during this time in both the image of the Divine Mercy and the Divine Mercy Chaplet.  I'm not sure how much "everyday wisdom" you will find in this episode. Instead I hoped to share the truth of the struggle to trust, especially after pain and loss. Here are few links that might be helpful. In Episode 22 of the Podcast I talked about the baby we lost to Stillbirth in November. We named this baby Max. Here is a reflection I wrote a couple years ago after my first miscarriage. This post demonstrates just how different each and every loss is!  And finally, here is a wonderful list of things you can do to heal and remember your baby after suffering a miscarriage. Know that you are in my prayers--especially if you are experiencing a loss or carrying the heavy cross of infertility. Your sister in the small things, Nancy