Just Jenna

A guy at work gave me a $100 tip last night for some relationship advice I gave him, so I figured I’d give it away for free today on the podcast. This one’s about situationships, boundaries, and the guts it takes to actually say what you want, even when it rocks the boat.

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I have a thought experiment for you: personify the present moment. Imagine it as an actual person you're in a relationship with, not a concept, not a background hum, an actual person you interact with every single day. Now look at how you've been treating them. Most of us treat the present moment like an obstacle, a means to an end, or an enemy. And if you were to treat a person this way, you and I both know it would be dysfunctional. So why are you doing it to the one relationship you can't leave?

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What if the experience of life isn’t really about what’s happening, but about what you’re telling yourself is happening. Two people can watch the same sunset and have two completely different experiences of it. The sunset stayed exactly the same for both of them. The difference was entirely in the thoughts they were having in their heads. So is life really just what we think about while we’re living it?

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What you seek, you shall find. Period. Every person, every experience, every place contains both positivity and negativity; the one you get is the one you’re looking for. It’s easy to be a negative Nancy, that’s the cop out, and most people default to it without even realizing they’re doing it. If your knee-jerk reaction is negative, I want to introduce you to the joy journal. A little something I made up along the way, and it works.

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I ripped out my retainer to record this one- a midnight reflection on yet another book consuming my thoughts, this time A New Earth. Eckhart Tolle’s take on sin (missing the mark, not breaking a rule) sent me down a rabbit hole connecting Shakespeare, Jesus on the cross, and why identifying with your roles and thoughts might be the fastest way to miss the whole point of being alive. Unedited, half-asleep, and probably rambling, but it felt important enough to say out loud.

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For most of my life, I didn’t realize I was subconsciously trying to prove my value before anyone even got to know me: showing off a skill, a resource, something useful, so they would want to keep me around. This episode is about the moment I caught myself doing it, what changed when I stopped, and what shifted when I decided to just show up as myself. I talk about why the quality of my relationships changed the second I stopped performing for connection.

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there’s nothing about the human experience that is nonchalant to me #straightup

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I have a theory about relationships, and it starts with an egg toss. You know the game: two people throwing a fragile egg back and forth, stepping back after every catch, raising the stakes each round. Nobody wins alone. You need the best throw and the best catch, every single time, or the whole thing breaks.

I think that’s what a good relationship looks like.

But here’s where it gets complicated. I also believe embodied detachment aids to the success of a relationship. Not in the sense of not caring, but releasing the tight grip, the illusion of control over yourself and the other person. I think that’s what actually makes it good.

So which is it? Do you hold on or let go? Compete or cooperate? Depend on someone, or stay completely on your own and detach from them?

I don’t have a clean answer. This episode is me trying to find one out loud, somewhere between attachment and detachment, independence and codependence, and everything in between.

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so I went on a hike to clear my head and came back with a full theory of everything instead. this episode's about why our generation is lonelier than any before it, why church attendance is about to make a comeback, and why AI freeing up our brains could kick off something like a second cognitive revolution. also: new religions are coming, and yes, protein vapes are next. a rattlesnake and two coyotes almost took me out earlier this week but that's a different story. predictions, not opinions. you'll see.

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You guys, I just realized something, and I know this might sound ridiculous, but I mean this with the utmost sincerity.

I just realized that I am a child.

I just realized that I am a baby infant child. Like, that’s truly where I’m at. It’s truly where I’m at.

I am such an infant, infant, infant... in terms of my human experience. Okay?

Like, I have just been chatting with people that are 50 years old, essentially. Like my parents, my parents’ friends, right? And they have just been through so many things, and like, I’m just so fascinated with speaking with older people in general.

I’m very drawn to the older folk, okay? And I’m talking, like, old people, right? 70, 80. You know what I’m saying?

Because they just have this wealth of... of wisdom. It’s not even wisdom. It’s just like stories. They’re just talking about their life. Like, their experiences, what they’ve been through, who they are, and where they’re going, and like all of these things are just so, so fascinating to me.

Anyways. I feel like I’m going off on sidetracks here, but... I don’t know, I guess I just, I was speaking with my parents and their friends, and it just, I don’t know, I just walked upstairs, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks where I’m like, oh my God.

I am such a beginner at life.

Like, I have so much that I’m going to get to experience, and I have so many things that I’m going to go through. And I guess sometimes I feel like everything’s happening so quick and like, we’re gonna need to figure everything out now, and like, time, ah, what do I do? Decisions. I don’t know. And...

Wow, I don’t know. It just... I don’t know.

Yeah, it’s just making me realize, like, wow. Of course I feel confused, because I’m a baby. I’m a kid.

Of course, like, these things that I thought would happen by now that are not happening right now, which I am accepting, baby. But, like, I guess, yeah, like the things that I’ve thought about, the things that I’ve wanted, the things that I’m going for or whatever, whatever, whatever, they... I guess I could just get so impatient with my life.

Because I’m thinking about this right now because I’m saying it. Oh my God, it’s so ridiculous. Like, I know that that’s ridiculous.

You know, like, I think it’s because I’m impatient. Like, I get so impatient with life because I’m like, I want to have all of these things by now, because I feel like a grandma... like, I’m not a grandma, but like, I don’t know... actually, that’s completely untrue. I do not feel like a grandma at all.

I feel this pressure to have certain things done, completed, or like, en route to. I don’t know why. I think it’s just like, conditioning, societal pressure, your upbringing, you know, the structures that are in place, mental health, you know, that’s totally a playoff player here.

But, wow.

What a great realization. A revelization, a remembrance, if you will, baby, that like, I am a kid. And I have so, so much... life is going to happen to me and like, just relax, chill out, sister Sue.

Like, life is gonna give you everything. Everything, just relax. Stop trying to rush your life so much.

Like, stop sprinting towards... like, why are you, are you running? Jenna, why are you running, girl?

Just, kid, relax. Take it easy. Take it easy.

Wow.

Anyways, um, I’m like... this is totally all I have to say right now, and I don’t even, yeah, well. Maybe... No, I’m like, I really, like, I was going to...

I was going to try and put a little spin on the end of this of like, now, if this is you, and, you know, follow your dreams or something, and I’m like, nope, don’t even... it’s not what I want to do.

I just want to say goodbye.

So? Goodbye.

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