Wildcard Wallflower: Episode 1 - Just Sit In It. 

Episode 1's Mood Playlist (Apple Music)

The Reconstruction by Jermisha Frazier 

Reconstructing

Is tearing down, and rebuilding something new.

Getting rid of things that no longer benefit you,

A clean slate

A new plate

Fresh start

With a courageous soul and pure heart.

It's hard.

To admit that you've fallen short,

Or to-

Take a step forward and immediately be push right back

When you’re thinking you've made progress,

You see the distance you have to go and start feeling less and less,

Motivated.

Because you remember how close you were-

How you almost made it

And now you've watched all of your hard work get disintegrated

Thennnnnnn.

The negative thoughts get contemplated.

We all know it happens, but nobody ever wants to say it.

How you've-

Found yourself in an empty room thinking the worse,

I mean. I know my grandmother keeps the .38 in her purse

And shit I can't seem to get out this hole so living feels like it's no longer even worth-

All the shit I've been going through.

Pessimism consumes you.

The walls cave in and then-

Darkness becomes your new best friend.

We've all been through it.

When you get in a position where you're 1.6 seconds from saying screw it,

But something stops you and you just can't do it

Giving up isn't in you.

And you decide-

At that moment the sorrow no longer can continue

And. And-

The room starts to get bigger.

You breathe and begin to figure-

Out your next move.

What's best for YOU.

That gives birth to your solid foundation.

You've already been the perfect demonstration

Of where you refuse to go back.

Sometimes it takes life kicking you in your ass for you to see the aspects you lack

And-

Then starting your reconfiguration.

Or reconstruction.

Tearing down, and rebuilding something new.

Getting rid of things that no longer benefit you

Letting go of shit that was "supposed"

And finally enduring the pain that is Growth.