Lesson 2: Get People Talking With These Questions
Open-ended questions will help you gain clarity where ambiguity has taken over. Use the four questions in this lesson to open up dialogue that moves everybody forward.
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Related Episodes

 	These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
 	How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)

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Key Tactics for Leading Through Ambiguity (2 of 4)

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide.
Question from Qasim

 	Qasim asked our thoughts on how to break the busy cycle and actually get started with something important.
 	Aruj wondered how to handle a tricky situation where colleagues are gossiping lots in the office.
 	Alice has three great opportunities in front of her was curious our advice on how to decide between them.

Resources Mentioned

 	How to Decide by Annie Duke

Related Episodes

 	How to Start a Conversation With Anyone, with Mark Sieverkropp (episode 177)
 	How to Deal with Opponents and Adversaries, with Peter Block (episode 328)
 	The Way to Make Better Decisions, with Annie Duke (episode 499)
 	The Power of Unlearning Silence, with Elaine Lin Hering (episode 678)

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

682: Ways to Move Forward Well, with Bonni Stachowiak

Matt Abrahams: Think Faster, Talk Smarter
Matt Abrahams is an educator, author, podcast host, and coach. He is a lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business and a keynote speaker and communication consultant for Fortune 100 companies. He is the host of the popular podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart and the author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot*.

One of the most common places leaders get put on the spot is when facilitating a question and answer session. In this episode, Matt and I discuss the mindset, preparation, and steps that will help you answer questions with confidence and increase credibility with your audience.
Key Points

 	Many presenters think about a Q&A; session like playing dodgeball. It’s more helpful to frame it as dialogue.
 	Answering questions well allows you to project authenticity, expand on key points, and resolve objections.
 	Use the ADD framework to respond to a question. A: answer the question, D: detail an example, and D: describe the value. If helpful, adjust the order.
 	Set boundaries for the kinds of questions you’ll answer and the timeframe for them. The audience expects you to lead the conversation.
 	Ask yourself a question if nobody else asks one first. This might start with, “A question I’m commonly asked…”
 	End with an exclamation point. Sticking the landing provides you confidence and shows credibility to your audience.

Resources Mentioned

 	Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot* by Matt Abrahams

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 	The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450)
 	How to Rehearse Before a Presentation, with Jacqueline Farrington (episode 645)
 	That’s a Great Question (Dave’s Journal)

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

681: The Way to Handle Q&A, with Matt Abrahams

Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit
Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of eight books, including The Coaching Habit*, which has sold more than a million copies and is the best-selling book on coaching this century. He is the founder Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that’s trained thousands of people around the world to be more coach-like. His TEDx Talk on Taming Your Advice Monster has been viewed more than a million times.

One of the most common desires leaders espouse is wanting to get better at helping others grow. One great way to do that is to become more coach-like. In this conversation, Michael and I explore how we can do better at building this skill.
Key Points

 	Care deeply for others while also being disconnected from their outcomes. Give people responsibility for their own freedom.
 	Consider asking, “How much risk are you willing to take?” Allow the other party to define the boundaries.
 	Bring a difficult observation as a third point. Separate the message from the person and let them decide what’s true.
 	Avoid asking “why” questions of others to avoid putting people on the defensive and trying to solve their problems.
 	A helpful checkpoint: is this question something that’s helping me or helping the other party?
 	Silence is a measure of success. When you ask as question that lands, people need time to answer.
 	Your body leads your brain. Notice your physical presence and how it manifests when you’re listening well.

Resources Mentioned

 	The Coaching Habit* by Michael Bungay Stanier
 	Register your book receipt for bonus items from Michael

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 	These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
 	Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)
 	How to Lead Better Through Complexity, with Jennifer Garvey Berger (episode 613)
 	How to Help Others Be Seen and Heard, with Scott Shigeoka (episode 654)

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

680: Becoming More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier

Jeff Wetzler: Ask
Jeff Wetzler is co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization, and an expert in learning and human potential. His experience spans 25+ years in business and education, as a management consultant to top corporations, a learning facilitator for leaders, and as Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America.

He is a member of the Aspen Global Leadership Network and is an Edmund Hillary Fellow. Jeff is the author of Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life*.

Leaders are not the only people who need to have difficult conversations in the workplace. Yet, leaders set the tone for how much people are willing and able to talk about hard things. In this episode, Jeff and I discuss how leaders can make it easier for those important conversations to happen.
Key Points

 	In one study of managers, most people admitted to remaining silent with their bosses and nearly 75% said colleagues also felt uncomfortable speaking up.
 	Meet people on their own turf. Others are more likely to speak up if they are in a setting that’s more comfortable for them.
 	Leaders should consider shifting timing and/or medium to one that’s of the preference for the person who doesn’t have power.
 	Explain why you’re asking about a topic and your intention for a conversation at the start. Providing context prevents people from having to guess at your agenda.
 	Set a mutual agenda for a conversation by asking a question like, “In addition to this, what else should be part of our conversation today?”
 	Establish a tone for open communication by radiating resilience. Words like these might help: “If I were in your shoes, I might be feeling frustrated or even resentful. If that’s how you’re feeling, I would understand completely. Please don’t hold back.”

Resources Mentioned

 	Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life* by Jeff Wetzler

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 	How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
 	The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529)
 	How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

679: Make it Easier to Discuss Hard Things, with Jeff Wetzler

Elaine Lin Hering: Unlearning Silence
Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, speaker, and writer who helps people build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She is a former Managing Partner of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, specializing in dispute resolution, mediation, and negotiation. She is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully.

Those of us who have struggled to speak up have been told, “Just be more confident,” or, “Say this to get started.” As Elaine and I discuss in this conversation, there’s a larger context at play…and great power for both leaders and the people they lead, in unlearning silence.
Key Points

 	Start with why. For change to actually happen, find something that matters more than the old behavior.
 	What seems obvious to us isn’t always obvious to others. Connecting the dots for others demonstrates the meaning you’re making.
 	Beginning a thought with, “From where I sit…” provides a entry point for what you need to say while also acknowledging different perspectives from others.
 	Most people want to be helpful, but don’t always know how. Tell them how they can be helpful in the moment.
 	Resistance is part of the process of influencing others. While it doesn’t feel good in the moment, it’s often the catalyst for creating movement.

Resources Mentioned

 	Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully* by Elaine Lin Hering

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 	How to Speak Up, with Connson Locke (episode 546)
 	End Imposter Syndrome in Your Organization, with Jodi-Ann Burey (episode 556)
 	The Mindset Leaders Need to Address Burnout, with Christina Maslach (episode 608)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Key Tactics for Leading Through Ambiguity (2 of 4)

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