This week in the Dads Toolbox we are bringing back Dr. Robert Zeitlin. You may remember Dr. Robert Zeitlin from his earlier episodes on topics of Kids going to school and the transitions that we go through , holiday depression and seasonal affective disorder and on Laughing more and yelling less. This week we are joined by Dr. Robert Zeitlin and his entire family to talk about transitions families go through as your kids get older.

So on the show we had Robert Zeitlin, Betsy Zeitlin and their two kids, Ian and Lily. This week we talked to them about the anxiety of having kids leave the home. We talked to both the kids and the parents about their concerns about this.

The kids mentioned that they did not feel that they had a lot of concerns. Their son mentioned that the relationship with their parents changed a bit, but they have always felt that their parents have given them their space and independence. They feel that they are treated as responsible adults.

Robert and Betsy mentioned that it is a lot easier now as they can talk more frequently over Skype or the phone and they can even physically see him if they would like. So even though their son is now off at college this is still possible.

Their daughter, who is still in high school said that she does think that her relationship with her parents will change, though some of the quality of the relationship will change.

Technology has definitely shrunk the difference and anxiety for parents today.

For Robert and Betsy they said that when Ian left home for the first time, it was very hard. There were tears. As Betsy mentioned, you only have your kids for 18 years and hopefully they like you and they will come back. In the end, you want them to go, but you do not want them to go. Robert said that about a year out from when Ian left he started to try to get his own stuff taken care of. Robert mentioned that it was hard, but he tried to get closer with his son, and trying to be able to let go of his son at the same time.

Robert and Betsy mentioned that when their daughter finally leaves it will be very different when she finally leaves. Their kids have started to give them a glimpse of what this will be like as they have gone to long camps, or have extended trips and though the first week is hard after this it becomes easier. They also feel that they have worked hard on building a strong relationship between each other, so the empty nest will not be as empty.

They said they they are a very weird family as they communicate. If they have issues, they talk about this together. They are also a bit unusual because the kids are such good friends.  Live, Love, Laugh and Communicate is a family slogan that they live by.

Some advice that they would offer

* it is important to communicate with your spouse and your kids. All problems must be addressed. You have to lay out the ground rules up front.

* There are some things that are worth getting mad about, but there are many others that are not worth getting mad about and you have to let it go.

* It is a good idea to accept the situation that you are in and then appreciate this

* You have to work and maintain the relationships within your entire family. You have to individually be responsible for the relationships that you have with your family members.

 

Find Out More About the Zeitlin Family!

* Robert Zeitlin

* Robert’s Book – Laugh More,