Our story this week: Comedian Kim Kutt was enamored of the Spanish handsome, Gaston. But their earliest dalliances hit nothing but snags, and when Kim went the extra mile she found herself crossing some lines. Lines like the Threat of Mass Murder Line and the Stalking Outside Your House Line, amongst others. Why must we destroy what we love, Kim?

Kim Kutt is a comedian in New York. Follow her on Twitter @tablefullofcrap.