I’m doing something a little different this week. Just me, my thoughts, and a little bit of nerdy science.

For this solo episode, I wanted to talk about pain — and why it’s so often the first thing people think of when they hear BDSM.

Is BDSM actually about pain? Why can something that looks painful from the outside feel completely different to the person experiencing it? And what happens when you add choice, trust, power, pleasure and context to the equation?

I went through a few fascinating studies, added my own thoughts, and ended up with a much more interesting question:

When we say pain, are we actually talking about the same experience?

All the research I mention in the episode is linked below.

Make yourself comfortable, press play, and enjoy listening.

Follow me on IG https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

References:

1. Beyond Pain — Elise Wuyts et al.
2. Between Pleasure and Pain — Elise Wuyts et al.
3. Is Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadomasochism Recreational Leisure? — D. J. Williams et al.

I’ve been following Master Joshua for quite a while, and one of the reasons I wanted to talk to him is because he never gave me this mysterious Dominant vibe. Quite the opposite. He talks. He shows himself. And Joshua really doesn’t hide shit.

He’s been a professional Dominant for more than 15 years, but this conversation goes way beyond BDSM. We talk about masculinity, neurodivergence, shame, power, sex, and what being a Dominant actually means when you take all the leather and titles away.

Joshua gets very open about his own mistakes, some really dark periods of his life, and the fact that he spent years teaching other people to communicate their needs while being terrified to communicate his own. We also get into his work with men, the book he’s writing, religion, sex work, submission, and why a man who spends so much of his life leading sometimes just wants someone else to take over.

There is A LOT in this conversation. So enjoy it!

You can find Master Joshua here:

Kinkcollective.net

MasterJoshua.com

Fotlm.com

https://www.instagram.com/masterjoshuanyc

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink and BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

For almost 13 years, Kathy Kay has been asking strangers the questions most people would never dare to ask.

She's the voice behind the Strictly Anonymous podcast and the author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions. For years, people have been calling her to share their secrets, fantasies, affairs, fetishes, and the parts of themselves they don't normally say out loud.

This time, I got to turn the microphone around.

I wanted to know who Kathy is when she's not the one asking the questions, and what listening to all those stories has actually done to her.

And we went there.

We talk about the life she deliberately refused to live by the book, sex, love, relationships, BDSM, fantasies, and the things she discovered she wanted only after hearing other people talk about them. Kathy is incredibly open about her own experiences, how the show has changed her sexually, what still turns her on, what she would love to explore, and whether, after all these years of telling everyone else's stories, there is anything about herself she is still hiding.

For once, Kathy isn't asking the questions.

She's answering them.

You can find Kathy online:

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1c9RZkHYjxdfhBJ2AOQZxC

IG https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/

X https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en

Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink and BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

I have a confession to make.

I love nerdy conversations.

Where you forget you're recording a podcast because you're too busy trying to understand why people are the way they are.

That's exactly what happened with Elizabeth. She's a psychotherapist and a sexologist, and together we dive into the psychology behind BDSM, fantasies, shame,, jealousy, trauma, and We talk about where our desires come from, why so many myths refuse to die, and why understanding yourself is often much more complicated, and much more interesting, than simply asking what's "normal."

We are not figuring out who's right or wrong. It's about staying curious, challenging what we think we know, and maybe leaving with a completely different way of looking at human sexuality. 

So If you enjoy conversations that leave you with more questions than answers, you'll definitely enjoy this one as much as I did.

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink and BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

Bruce has been curious for as long as he can remember.

Long before he built some of Australia's biggest BDSM venues, hosted kink parties, or introduced hundreds of people to the community, he was just a curious little boy secretly reading the erotic magazines he sold at a railway station.

What I loved most about this conversation is that it isn't really about BDSM. It's about curiosity. About following the things that make you feel alive instead of the things that make you fit in.

We talk about Bruce's childhood, growing up as a late bloomer, discovering sexuality, building safe spaces for people to explore themselves, and why someone's very first BDSM experience can shape everything that comes after. We also dive into pleasure, consent, power dynamics, and the simple question Bruce always asks during a scene:

«Do you want more?»

Sometimes the best conversations about kink aren't really about kink at all. They're about people.

Enjoy listening to new episode!

You can find Bruce in IG:

https://www.instagram.com/erotic_dominance

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink and BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

Gula says that the body was her first language.

And after this conversation, I understand exactly what she means.

She moves through life like an artist, through sensation, tension, instinct, energy, and everything that exists before words. We talk about the little girl who wanted to be seen, the performer who found different versions of herself onstage, and the woman who discovered that the body often knows the truth long before the mind is ready to accept it.

We speak about power, pleasure, shame, queerness, dominance, kink, BDSM, and the strange edge where fear, curiosity, and desire meet. Gula shares all of it with a rare kind of openness, soft, intense, vulnerable, and completely her own.

This episode is not only a story about becoming an artist, a performer, or a dominant woman. It is about learning how to listen when your body speaks.

You can find Gula in IG:

https://www.instagram.com/gulamalacca

https://www.instagram.com/takeyourdesireseriously

Her e-mail is: [email protected]

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink and BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

Today's guest is someone whose work has deeply influenced the way I think about kink, BDSM, and human connection. Few years ago, I came across one of Paul's articles, and it stayed with me ever since. So having this conversation felt very special.

We talk about growing up with trauma, how our childhood quietly shapes the way we love, and why BDSM can become either a place to hide, or a place to heal. We dive into dominance versus control, leading versus forcing, power dynamics, emotional safety, energy, intimacy, and the difference between simply doing BDSM and truly understanding what happens underneath it.

We also talk about Paul's own journey, from discovering kink after his divorce to creating one of Europe's most beautiful BDSM spaces, leading retreats for couples, and helping people build deeper, more conscious relationships.

This isn't really a conversation about BDSM. It's a conversation about trust, vulnerability, healing, and what it actually means to lead, with presence instead of control.

UPD: book of Gabor Mate which Paul is talking about is The Myth of Normal

You can find Paul in IG - https://www.instagram.com/spnkd.antwerp

https://www.instagram.com/spnkd.berlin

https://www.instagram.com/the.pleasure.field

And through the website of SPNKD - https://spnkd.com

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

In this episode, I talk to Queenderella - sex, intimacy and relationship educator, event and retreat organizer, and someone who has dedicated her life to creating spaces where people can explore themselves with curiosity instead of shame.

This conversation is ridiculously funny, honest, and full of unexpected stories. We talk about growing up in Indonesia, how childhood shaped the way she sees love and relationships, why she doesn't believe monogamy is the only answer, what it really means to build an open relationship, and how even someone who rarely gets jealous can still be caught completely off guard.

We also dive into first sexual experiences, discovering submission, the myths we grow up believing about sex, porn, BDSM, fantasies, and the path that eventually led Queenderella to become one of Indonesia's most recognizable voices in sex education.

There are plenty of laughs, a few very spicy stories, and, as always, a lot of honest conversations about the things people usually keep to themselves.

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

This conversation is with a couple whose relationship completely changed the way they think about communication, intimacy, and even love.

We talk about what happened when kink stopped being just something exciting to explore and became a way of understanding each other better. How learning to ask for what they wanted, hearing "no" without taking it personally, and talking openly about desires, fears, jealousy, and boundaries slowly transformed not only their play, but their relationship outside of it too.

We also dive into shame, first kink parties, discovering desires later in life, building trust, and why they believe BDSM isn't about pain or power at all—it's about honesty. More than anything, this is a conversation about creating something together instead of trying to fit into someone else's idea of what a relationship should look like.

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

In this episode, Masha and I talk about growing up in Russia, being a "good girl," first crushes, first sex, fantasies, masturbation, validation, pleasure, love, and all the weird thoughts nobody warns you about when you're trying to figure yourself out.

This conversation goes from porn cartoons hidden in parents' wardrobes to choking, power dynamics, orgasms, heartbreak, relationships, and the question many of us carry for years: am I enough?

Funny, honest, vulnerable, and occasionally ridiculous, just like real life.

You can find Masha in IG - https://www.instagram.com/mashenity

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow