In the 2007 movie, The Bucket List, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman portray two terminally ill men who create a list of “must-do’s” that they determine to pursue together before they die. Their “bucket list” takes them on wild adventures around the world and includes such things as racing classic muscle cars around a race track, skydiving, and kissing the most beautiful girl in the world. When Nicholson’s character adds the “kiss” item to the list, Freeman responds: “Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world? How do you propose doing that?”

Nicholson responds: “Volume.”

Later in the movie, we see Nicholson’s character knocking at the door of his estranged daughter. He meets his grand-daughter for the first time. After she gives him a kiss on the cheek, he pulls out a ragged piece of paper with all but two “bucket list” items marked off and puts a line through “Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world.” The last item on his list? Being buried on top of Everest…a feat managed by his loyal assistant in the final scene of the movie.

This post was started three years ago and came to mind yesterday as I gave my granddaughter, Reagan, a kiss goodbye when I dropped her off at a birthday party. Again, when I gave her sister, Blair, a kiss when I stopped by their house to remove a Nerf dart from a drain. (I’m still not sure how that happened). And again, when I was leaving and kissed their baby sister, Marin, as she smiled coyly at me from the safety of mom’s arms.

I realized, I’ve got a collection of “most beautiful girls in the world” surrounding me. Our son-in-law had an all day commitment yesterday, so I played chauffeur and general support resource for the many things that must go on in the daily carnival of a young family. For me, it was a day of deja vu as I watched dance lessons that took me back to our little Macy’s dancing days as well as the glimpses in the rearview mirror of the Jeep, top down, with little Reagan in the back…an image that took me back to days when her mom rode in the back of the Jeep with her blond her blowing in the wind.

Yesterday’s nostalgia train didn’t stop with Reagan’s drop-off after the birthday party. Shortly after, we found ourselves at a Mass being celebrated by a beloved priest, now retired, who’s nine years at our children’s grade school saw each of them graduate from 8th grade and encompassed our youngest’s entire elementary and middle school career. Speaking to him at a reception afterward, I described the beautiful ordinary of our days with our children nearby and the frequent presence of all of our grandchildren.

Laughing with old friends that evening, we spoke of our grown children, upcoming weddings, grandchildren, and the hopes of these new seasons. Another movie came to my mind as I felt the bittersweet joy of time’s passing alongside all of the joyful becomings happening all around. In 2014’s, Wish I Was Here, Zach Braff’s character is bedside with his dying father, played by Mandy Patinkin. Patinkin’s final words of wisdom to his sons, “If there’s a next time, I’ll try to do better. So fast…try to remember how fast it goes.”

As entertaining as the movie was, I find that I don’t believe in bucket lists. As Americans, our drive to get to the next thing already causes us to struggle mightily with slowing down in the moments that we find ourselves in. We receive constant streams of images and headlines reminding us of how much more fun, more fulfillment, and more stuff everyone else around us has. We live in a world where we can have, see, do, pretty much anything we want, anytime we want. There is always the next thing. There is always more. Right now never seems to be enough.

A friend mentioned a “bucket list” trip to another country. I responded that we have so many places we want to see in Europe and to return to in the states that we likely would never get to that particular country. “Oh, we probably won’t go, it’s just on the list.” Ah, yes. The list. Does an unchecked item on a list mean we failed? The crazy thing about a list, is that it tends to become it’s own end. Even crazier is how quickly we move on once we’ve checked an item off of it.

Another movie line comes to mind. This time from 2010’s The Way. Emilio Estevez’s free-spirited character tells his more grounded father: “You don’t choose a life, you live one.” There’s a lovely tension between the life we’re busy creating and the many things that interrupt our intentions. Living happens along that edge. I realize that I never had to put “Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world” on any bucket list. I’ve been living it for over 37 years.

And, my girls keep getting more beautiful over time.