This week on Haunted and Homicidal, your favorite chaotic duo dives headfirst into two horrifying tales that sound like they were made up during a fever dream but are, unfortunately, 100% real.

First up: The Black Doodler — the mysterious San Francisco serial killer who sketched his victims before murdering them. Because apparently, murder wasn’t enough — he had to add an arts-and-crafts twist. Lauren immediately questions whether he used a sketchpad or napkins from a diner, Courtney’s convinced she’s seen this plot in a bad Lifetime movie, and Mischa provides live ASMR as emotional support.

Then we yeet ourselves back in time to Austin, Texas, in the 1880s — where the Servant Girl Annihilator (yes, that’s the real name) went on a bloody spree that predates Jack the Ripper. Chaos, confusion, and corsets abound. Lauren’s trying to figure out why everyone back then was just fine living in a horror novel, Courtney’s on her fourth energy drink, and we both spiral into existential dread about how this case still isn’t solved.