A practical conversation with Michael Phillips on how using people’s names—when done well—builds rapport, trust, and influence in negotiations.

In Episode 3 of The Negotiation Club Podcast, Philip Brown (Founder of The Negotiation Club) is joined by Michael Phillips, negotiation trainer and author, to explore a deceptively simple but powerful negotiation behaviour: using people’s names.

The discussion examines why names matter so much in human interaction and how, in negotiations, this small detail can significantly influence rapport, trust, and willingness to engage.

Mike explains that using someone’s name appropriately helps them feel acknowledged, respected, and valued. It personalises the interaction and reinforces the relationship side of negotiation—often before any commercial discussion begins.

The episode reinforces that negotiation outcomes are rarely driven by tactics alone. The quality of the relationship, even in short interactions, plays a critical role in how proposals are received and decisions are made.

Philip and Mike explore several pitfalls that negotiators frequently overlook:

Each mistake subtly erodes trust rather than building it.

The episode emphasises that using names is not about frequency—it is about timing, tone, and intent.

Effective use of names often appears natural rather than deliberate. It tends to occur at key moments: greetings, transitions, emphasis points, or moments of acknowledgement. Used sparingly and correctly, a name reinforces connection without drawing attention to itself.

To practise this skill, start by becoming more intentional in low-risk interactions.

Try:

Role-play exercises are particularly effective here, allowing you to receive feedback on whether your use of names feels natural or forced.

A dedicated Negotiation Card on using names has been created to support deliberate practice of this behaviour. The card focuses attention on awareness, pronunciation, timing, and restraint—helping negotiators turn a simple habit into a consistent strength.

Used well, names become more than a courtesy. They become a quiet signal of respect, attention, and professionalism.