Labyrinths & Linguists; by Craig Kopris; From Volume CLXXIII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, July 2015 — While perusing the wax cylinder recordings stored at one of the major archives on the eastern seaboard (which will be left unnamed to protect the reputations of all concerned), I ran across a particular cylinder that caught my attention. Sticking out of one end was the charred remains of a wick. Curious as to why someone would attempt to destroy such a precious object (assuming, of course, that they hadn’t simply mistaken it for a defective candle), I searched the online catalog for more information. Nothing was to be found electronically, so I turned to the old card catalog. I was about to give up hope after searching without success, when I found hidden under the cards a slip of burned paper (perhaps used to light the candle?). (Read by Trey Jones. Performed by The SpecGram Players.)