During a lively episode of the podcast Mondo Freako, the host welcomes Canadian guests Todd and Darcy for a deep dive into the paranormal, centered around a trivia quiz about Toronto’s historic Fairmont Royal York Hotel. The discussion highlights the legend of the “Lady in Red,” a residual haunting on the eighth floor known for her crimson evening gown, the scent of old-fashioned perfume, and her habit of walking into non-existent elevators. While the guests jokingly stumble through the quiz, the conversation shifts into personal spectral encounters, including Todd’s eerie story of seeing a “ghostly groom” while his wife saw a “ghostly bride” at the Fairmont Banff Springs.

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So I hear ghosts are warmer-blooded in Canada. Is that true, guys? Well, they certainly are not reptilian. No, we don’t have cold-blooded ghosts. Oh, really? They’re red-blooded Canadian ghosts up here. Darcy, do you agree with that assessment? Yeah, okay. Okay. Great riff. Great riff. Mondo Rico. Hey everybody and welcome to Mondo Rico. Today we’ve got a couple of Canadians with us today. How are you guys doing? Fantastico. And just because I said you’re Canadian, you can identify as other than, I mean, maybe, is there differences in being in Canada? Or you can say, no, I’m an Albertan. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. There’s that now. Yes. Okay. That has connotations that we’d rather not hop into at this point. Okay. It’s a little early in the show for that. A Torontonian? Is that the word? Yes. And an Ottawa? Ottawa? An Ottoman? Yeah. An Ottoman. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. You guys don’t identify? I’m an East Coaster originally. Yes. Okay. I’m from Nova Scotia. So you’re like Anna Green’s Gables or what? Not quite. That would be Prince Edward Island. But Nova Scotia, which means New Scottsdale, Arizona. A Scotian? Yes. Yes. See, it’s funny because Darcy is a Torontonian who identifies as an East Coaster, and I am an Ottawa who identifies as a Torontonian. Oh, well… You guys need to have graphics or something whenever you come on to introduce all this. We’re going to have arrows going all across the great white wall. It’s nothing but strings and post-it notes and pictures of East Coast Donair and wings from the Wheat Sheaf. Wheat Sheaf wings. Well, this show is about the mysteries of the world. And I have a mystery, but every time we do a quiz and I give the person who’s participating, the people in this case who are participating, the opportunity to either take the quiz cold about our topic today or get the information and then take the quiz. Depends how daring you are here.
Yeah, send me in cold coach. What it’s about here, I can tell you what it’s about. Don’t even care. Bring it. Oh, you just want to go right to the quiz. Hop right in. I’m not looking up nothing. There we go. Let’s do it. Quiz. Quiz. All right. Here you go. I just realized something. If I screw up, if I just screwed myself out of a prize, is… No, yeah, there’s no prize. You guys might not be able to see this totally because it’s probably really small, but this is our quiz here. I’m going to read all the questions and the answers, so don’t worry about it if it’s small on your screen. You’re perfectly fine. All right? Yes. All right, here we go. First question. In which Canadian city is the Fairmont Royal York Hotel located? Is it… A, Ottawa…
B, Bikini Bottom, C, Montreal, or D, Toronto. And I do have a hint if you guys want that. Darcy, do you want to take this one? No, no, go ahead. Are you sure? Bikini bottom, obviously. Bikini bottom! For the win. Oh, no! Oh, my goodness. While residents there might see many ghosts of sunken ships, the Fairmont Royal York is strictly a dry land-based establishment in Toronto. Did you know that the Fairmont Royal York is a historic landmark and a prominent fixture of the Toronto skyline? For sure. It’s tucked in. It’s right across the street from Via Rail, from the Union Station in Toronto. In fact… You’ve been? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in fact, the Fairmont chains, like the Fairmont hotels in Canada, until they moved…
the railway stations, they were always across the street from a railway station. People would get off and then go immediately into the hotel. Fairmont Railways. That was their tagline. Fairmont Railways. Alright, next question. Number two. There’s seven questions altogether. They’re supposed to get more difficult as we go along. Who knows, though. What is the most distinctive feature of this spirit’s appearance? According to witnesses at the Fairmont, right? Okay. In Toronto. Okay. A tattered maid’s uniform, a vibrant red evening gown, a shadowy featureless cloak. Right. Or a bright red clown nose. I have a hint if you want it. Yeah, let’s have a hint. Oh, let’s do the hint. Yeah. Her name tells you exactly what color she is wearing. Oh, so it’s obviously a bright red clown nose. Um,
No, I am going to say a vibrant red evening gown. Darcy, are you in on that? That’s the sound of money that we’re winning. Darcy, we’re going to get so rich off of this. Much like just about every major chain establishment, you earn points. Which can be spent on our next visit. Right. Or possibly, unless we change our game. Right. So the vibrant red evening guy, you’re right, the spirit is named after her striking crimson dress, often described as a formal gown from a past era. Okay. All right. You’re doing great. You got one for one. One for one. What more could you want? Well, I’m going to say we actually got two, because we’re screwing around on the first one. Technically, if you’re going to hold us to it, then yes. Much like school, when you screw around, you lose. Okay. All right.
All right, next question, number three. On which specific floor of the hotel is the lady in red most frequently sighted? Oh, that’s her name. Okay. The rooftop? Mm-hmm. The 13th floor? Right. The basement near the laundry? Mm-hmm. Or the eighth floor? I also have a hint if you’d like. I think we got to take hints. You want a hint? Take that hint, yeah. Yeah, yeah, hint, please. Oh, don’t say, okay, thank you. It is an even-numbered floor in the single digits. It is 13. I just used my math degree. Woo-hoo! No, it’s the eighth. It’s the eighth. We’re screwing around here. We’re not screwing around here. Eighth floor? Yeah. All right! There we go. That’s right. The eighth floor is the most cited location for sightings of the lady walking the hallway. That’s amazing.
I think my wife has to stay there next week and I’m going to make sure she’s on the eighth floor. Yeah. I’m going to call her at the end of the hallway. Cause that’s where she probably disappears. I’m guessing. Yeah. All right. Which of the following sensory details is often reported by guests who believe they have just missed an encounter with her. Okay. The smell of wet dog, the smell of burnt toast. Okay. That’s a stroke, right? Okay. The faint sense of old fashioned perfume, which is, male of sulfur, which is what? Okay, well, we’ll see. That’s there all the time. Yeah. That is, that is in the fairmont royal York. Yeah. That is just omnipresent, so it’s something needs to cut through that um also known as petticoat central yes yes darcy i i feel like a hint is necessary. Do you, are you feeling oh is there a hint a hint there’s always a hint oh great yeah that’s always a hint
All right. Think of a subtle fragrance a woman in an evening gown might wear. Yeah, sulfur, just like farts. The scent of old-fashioned perfume. So I guess she walks around all over the place, right? Did I see you and agree? You concur? Yeah, I can see. Are you sure? I knew you were looking at wet dog. Are you sure? Okay. All right, I guess we’re going to see. You haven’t even got to her ghost dog rover. Right, exactly. All right. Pickles, no. The faint scent of old passion perfume. Oh, my gosh, look at this. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I’m saying at this point, you’ve got like 0.3 cents. Okay, all right. Just like coupons, you can turn them in for cash. Still better than PC points at this point. All right, you’re doing good.
Three for one. Great. One more. You’re over the top. It’s seven questions. You get more than 50%. I think you’re good to go. Here we go. Question number five. What unusual behavior is the Lady in Red often observed doing before she disappears? Okay. A, ordering a pizza from the front desk. B, aggressively checking her non-existent smartphone. C, arguing with an invisible person. Right. Or D, stepping into an elevator somewhere. that is not there. Okay. So I, I have to, I have to tell you something. Um, the last time i was at the, uh, royal uh, York, um, we, uh, we had just got back from a friend of ours wedding. And when i got back, I have done all of those things. So stepped into a non-existent elevator yeah it was painful
My wife told me it was our clothes closet, but whatever. Okay, sure. All right. Too bad you weren’t on the eighth floor. I know. She might be collecting insurance money. Darcy, what do you think? You want the hint? Of course we want the hint. Darcy’s place is safe. I’m guessing Darcy’s school record is not very marked up, where Todd’s possibly is In a Filofax. Oh, yeah. Yes. They converted it to microfiche. Yes. Yeah. It involves a common method of hotel transportation. Well, then for sure it’s pizza, right? Like that’s, of course it is. No, no, no, no, no. I don’t want to sully our record. Darcy, it sounds like elevator to me. How about you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, stepping onto the elevator that’s not even there. Oh, my gosh. Look at that. She thought it was a closet. That’s right. A common report describes her walking into the elevator bank area and stepping into a space where no car is present. You’re over the top on the seven. You’re four out of seven. So we got two more just for fun. Let’s see what happens. Let’s do this.
Number six, what temperature change is frequently reported by those who claim to have walked through her? Is it A, an intense sweltering heat? B, a static shock that ruins your hairdo? C, a sudden localized chill? Or D, a comfortable 72 degrees with low humidity? Well, we use Celsius up here. We do. So that would be like… yeah 20c something like that yeah yeah yeah a a d like okay so 72 celsius no uh 72 uh fahrenheit oh 72 yeah but if that was 72 Celsius, that would be 140 for 174. yeah it would be quite hot uh i will take the hint, but i’m pretty sure it’s a localized chill from from the paranormal things. It’s a sensation. Yeah, there you go. Commonly referred to as a cold spot. Yes. Yeah. Sudden localized chill when you walk through a ghost. You guys are thinking C? Mm-hmm. Definitely. Oh, my gosh. You’re on roll. So far, it’s all the cliches. Yes. Well, witnesses often report cold spots of a sudden drop in temperature. Things are cliches for a reason, Darcy. That’s right.
That’s right. They’re accurate. She’s nearby. And importantly, she reports in Fahrenheit, not Celsius. Okay. All right. Last question. You got five. I only got one wrong, which, of course, you’re saying is because you were being goofy around. Exactly. The host has zero sense of humor. Okay. All right. The Lady in Red is often considered a residual haunting. What does this mean in paranormal terms? Oh, dear. Okay. She is an intelligent spirit who tries to steal your Wi-Fi password. So far the winner. B, she is just a very dedicated hotel guest who refused to check out. C, she is recording of a past event replaying. Or D, she’s a poltergeist that moves objects. And we have a hint, if you’d like. Yeah. I think we want the hint, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it. Yeah.
Think of a loop of film playing back on a wall. Right. Which, I mean, at this point, no one knows what film is. Picture a DVD skipping. No, okay, that’s even worse. It’s an Instagram reel. Yeah, exactly. It’s an Instagram reel playing on a wall. That’s right. Uh, I guess it’s see a recording of a past event darcy you’re gonna are you agreeing with this? I agree with that yeah here we go. Oh my gosh. Look at that. Oh, if you would have got all seven, I would have given you $700,000. Oh, my God. Oh, damn it. Well, I will tell you this. It’s not the first time and certainly won’t be the last time that my behavior has screwed me out of money. You get a Trump card. Oh, no. No, thank you. No, no.
Non lo voglio. No, no, no. Well, let’s finish up with our quiz music and we’ll hear a little message. All right. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. This is Jonathan. And this is Heaven from the Opa Ghost podcast. And you’re listening to Mondo Frico. Toodles. Mondo Rico. That’s amazing. There you go, Mondo Rico. Now, do you guys want to hear the story of the Lady in Red from the Fairmont Royal York in Toronto? I absolutely would. And Darcy, I don’t know if you have… Is that what you’re trying to say? No, no, no, no, no. I actually have a Fairmont Hotel ghost story as well. Oh, well, this is going to be fantastic. I had no idea. It’s all random, folks. I know you don’t believe it, but it’s all random. Well, let me tell you the story real quick of the lady, and then we’re going to get to that ghost story. How’s that? Okay, definitely. Here we go. Let’s see here.
Here we go. Here we go. The Fairmont Royal York in Toronto is home to one of Canada’s most enduring ghost stories, The Legend of the Lady in Red. According to local lore, she is frequently sighted on the eighth floor where she is set to manifest as a woman dressed in a vibrant crimson evening gown. Witnesses often report seeing her glide silently down the hallways before vanishing into the walls or stepping into an elevator that isn’t there. Some accounts suggest that she was a guest who met a tragic end at the hotel during her early years, though her specific identity remains a mystery, adding a layer of eerie elegance to the historic landmark. The presence of the Lady in Red is often accompanied by strange, unexplained phenomena that keep staff and guests at edge. People have reported sudden localized drops in temperature and the faint scent of old-fashioned perfume lingering in the corridors where she was last seen.
While the Fairmont Royal York is known for its grand architecture and high-profile guests like Todd, not Darcy, it is these spectral tales that give the hotel its haunted reputation. Whether she is a lonely spirit or residual echo of the hotel’s jazz-age glamour, the Lady in Red remains a central figure in Toronto’s urban mythology. I did that wrong. There we go. That’s good. I see. Now I need to go stay on the eighth floor. Yeah. Yeah. No, but you did, you did a little tease there that you have a, now was it at the one in Toronto? It was not, it was not, uh, this was at the franchise, these ghosts out to all their hotels. Well, Oh, hello. There we go. Yeah. Hello. This is Nacho. Nacho as in Nacho Darcy.
Nacho! Here we are. Oh, what a cute ask nacho if if he’s seen a ghost. Have you seen any ghost Nacho? He totally sees ghosts okay yeah i think there’s yeah there’s a there’s a picture hanging in the living room and he always thinks there’s like it’s the door to narnia or something. He’s always trying to get behind it see what i thought you’re gonna say he’s a sketch artist as well Darcy’s fridge is just covered with feline doodle art, you know, just magnets. You have to buy these special tiny crayons. Now, before I spill my story, Darcy, have you ever seen a ghost? Have you ever seen a ghost? I mean, that’s at the hotel. Or just in general. It could have been at the Red Roof. I know you’ve seen three ghosts, but none of them were at a Fairmont Franchise Hotel. This is not the time or place. It’s a sponsor. No, I’ve never seen a ghost. You’ve never seen a ghost? Really? No. How interesting. Bob, you ever seen one? No, I’ve never seen a ghost.
So I’m the only one, and I saw mine at a Fairmont, and then you come to us with a Canadian story about the lady in red at the Fairmont Hotel in Toronto. A total guess. A total guess on my part. See, now that is paranormal activity. There you go. That is just like this. So here’s my story. My wife and I were on vacation, and we stayed at the Banff Springs Fairmont. really in Banff and Banff. I’ve always wanted to go to Banff. Is it really nice? It is gorgeous. It is absolutely gorgeous. Um, and so we, we go, uh, we, we check in and everything’s great. And I, uh, the first thing I do much to the chagrin of my wife is, uh, as soon as I get the wifi password, uh, I open up my internet browser on my phone and I type in the name of the hotel we’re staying in. I hit the space bar and then I put the word haunted and then I hit return.
and uh and then as soon as the results come back, I go, hey, honey. And she goes, oh, no, you didn’t. And I go, oh, yes, I did. And she goes, no. And I went, oh, yeah, this place is crawling with them. And she’s like, did not need to know that. Did not even so we asked around and sure enough, like they have like a wing dedicated to the paranormal activity that they that they get there. And, um, Chief among the sightings is a glowing orb that shows up in one of the banquet rooms in the ballrooms. And so you can sometimes see this orb kind of floating around. That we did not see. What happened instead happened in the middle of the night in our room. My wife woke up in the middle of the night and at the foot of our bed,
was a woman could not see her face through the veil in a wedding dress. Okay. And she was just standing there and my wife was now in sleep paralysis, so she couldn’t move. So the ghost is right there and she can’t move. So she’s trying to wake me up and just going, Todd, Todd, and true to my form, I’m dead asleep nothing’s gonna nothing’s gonna wake me up. Not even the undead will allow me to rise from this and so uh she uh she of course, when we wake up in the morning, she gives me complete hell for not being for for first of all, doing nothing. Right. But, you know, to to her credit, I was not helpful in this situation at all. I was not able to help her. And I said, so what what does the ghost look like? And she told me it was like a bride with a veil on. She couldn’t see her face because it was dark. It was definitely a wedding gown. And I went, huh, that’s interesting.
And she says, why? Because I woke up later on or before this. I don’t know when the timing was that I woke up because this all happened, again, while I was sleeping. No idea what was going on. So at some point in the evening, while my wife was still asleep, I woke up and I looked at the foot of the bed and I saw, again, dark-faced, like can’t see the face, can’t make it out, but a gentleman in a full tuxedo and top hat. And I just looked at him and my reaction was, because I’m still sleepy and tired from the travel, whatever. I literally went, Hey, and then I rolled over and went to sleep. Sorry. Occupado. Yeah. I just let, Hey, and then that was it. And when I was like, and you did not wake up, I was like, you know what? It, it didn’t occur to me that it could have been real. So I didn’t even think of it. Right. But now given that she saw the bride, I saw the groom.
So, yeah, so that was, we saw a couple, a living couple saw a dead couple. Really? Yes. Had you just renewed your vows or anything? No, nothing. Nothing. She was probably going to leave me that day. Yeah, I was going to say, was there divorce papers? You know, the death of a marriage. Divorce papers in the suitcase. Yeah, that’s it. Here, you know, always find a romantic place to drop form 8A on someone. Yeah. But chances of me finding a new mate here in Van are higher than if I was back home. Well, certainly among the non-living. Well, that’s cool. That’s a cool story. We actually saw a ghost. And Darcy, have you had anything happen that would be considered paranormal, perhaps? I do have a couple of hotel stories, but I’ll let Darcy go if he can… If Jim and Nacho can muster up a sketch, we’ll…
I say it was not it was close to Banff. I was in Lake Louise. Okay. And I got altitude sickness. Oh, okay. Which is much as much like seeing a ghost. Really? Yeah. What was altitude sickness like? And how high up is that anyway? I know Lake Louise is fairly high up, but how high? It’s not super high, but… I guess I grew up near the ocean. You grew up at zero feet above sea level. Yeah. How many feet above sea level are we? Five? Five feet. So yeah, headaches and a rash was what I had. Wow. A rash? A rash, yeah. I guess it’s a thing, yeah. Okay. I had no idea. Yeah, I didn’t feel better until I was Yeah, I guess on the plane leaving, which is even higher than where you were before. Right. I just I needed to get in a pressurized cabin. Yes. Do you normally reside in an iron lung? I have one that I’m only like 30 feet off the ground here, but I do have something that equalizes it down to sea level.
Oh, really? Okay. That’s interesting. It’s called a bodega. Anyway. Darcy lives in a bathysphere of some sort. That’s interesting. No, I’ve been over 10,000 feet a couple of times, and I’m certainly no one of great physical prowess, and I’ve never had problems. So I don’t know where you have to be at to get Altitude sickness. But so far, I haven’t caught it. Right. You need to get high, man. I mean, geographically, man. Yeah. Well, I was in the Rocky Mountain, kind of the divide of the Rocky Mountains. Right. And I was on the volcano in Hawaii. Oh, okay. And that’s even higher, I think, than the Rocky Mountains, believe it or not. But interesting. Now, back to the ghost things. Yes. Well, I had…
Two weird hotel ghost experiences that I could bring to you. But they weren’t seeing a ghost like yours. Yours, Todd, was way more interesting than what I’m going to say. Okay. Because I didn’t see anything. Okay. I’ll go with the mundane one first. Sure. So I have to travel for my work. And as a frequent traveler, I never get rid of my room until I absolutely have to. Mm-hmm. And I’m always the guy that’s like, can I get late checkout? Can I get late checkout? Absolutely. No, you’re not that guy. You are a normal guy. I’m just saying. And so I was in this hotel. I had gathered everything up. I put everything in my suitcase. I had my suitcase on. You know, you get two beds a lot of times. So the bed I did not sleep in, I put my suitcase on, all packed up, ready to go. And I put…
I had a bag with some nice shoes. Actually, it had my not nice shoes in it right now because I was wearing my nice shoes. And I had it up on the bed at the end of it. Right. Like where they put the fake quilt. I don’t know if you guys have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where it’s like. Who are you fooling with this thin strip of fabric that is barely sewn together to make it look like a quilt? We’ve got too much to make another set of drapes. That’s right. Put it on the bed. Put it on the bed. That’s fine. So it’s on there, you know, secure, safe. Gravity is holding it in place. It’s not going anywhere. I go, I do, you know, work things. I come up, I have to check out my shoes.
My suitcase is still on the bed. My shoes are out of the bag on the floor in a Kimbo. Okay. As it were, no one’s been in my room. No other signs of like the maid didn’t come in and go, oh, I’m going to throw this guy’s goddamn shoes on the floor. Right. Nothing like that. Now, I would have thought nothing of that had the other part of the story not happened, which is the night before. Uh, I’m laying down, go to sleep. I happen to be on, uh, the room. It’s kind of at the end of the, uh, the end of the hallway near another hallway. Okay. So I’m on the corner. So there’s a hallway that runs behind the room. And then there’s a hallway that I get to my door for my room. Right. Trying to go to sleep. It’s, you know, relatively late, I guess, 1130, something like that central time. And none of the matters, but, uh,
I’m laying there, and it’s as if someone leans over me and lets out a large belch right in my ear. Okay. I mean, full on. Right. Yep. I wake up. I’m looking around. There’s no one in the room. Right. What ghost belches in your ear? That is Slimer from Ghostbusters. That is Slimer from Ghostbusters with a shoe fetish. Yeah. Right. So then I just chalked it up for somebody being in the hallway, but it obviously, I mean, it obviously was not in the hallway. It was literally like if whenever you’re younger and your brother, your older brother holds you down and burps in your face, exactly what it was. Okay. So I, I, I, You know, I had to play, you know, I’m like, how can I sleep here if I keep thinking about this? Oh, it was just somebody in the hallway. Right. Go to sleep, wake up next morning. Now my shoes everywhere. Yeah. That is a common thing with the ghost, the moving of things. Oh, I thought you meant the belching. Oh, the belching, that’s new. And I’m not unconvinced you didn’t just wake yourself up after chilly night.
I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me. I’ll be honest. There have been a couple of moments where I go, we may have a ghost where I’m looking for something plainly and I have exhausted everything and I’ve looked like I have looked on the bed. I have been over every place in this bed where I could have dropped something. I go back to my office, go downstairs, and I come back and the keys are dead center of the bed. It’s like I literally looked here and they’re not here now. They are now. So there’s something like that. In my house. In your house? So if we have a ghost, he doesn’t come out often. Right? Is he wearing a groomsman attire? Zero sign of any spiritual clothing at all. Not a naked guy either, just not even seeing him. No tobacco or anything? No, nothing. I don’t get a cold spot when I walk through. Nothing.
But that’s common. There’s records of… The comedy store in Los Angeles is haunted. And there are… I don’t think she died there, did she? Doesn’t matter. It’s been a long time there. Well, certainly Pauly Shore’s career is dead. The… it used to be an Italian restaurant that was run by the mob. And so people would come in the front door and then out the back door in a lot of cases. And so in some cases, yeah, like they would dispatch of people at this restaurant. And so because horrible things happen, it is, you know, the psychic energy disperses and goes into it. And so there were stories of like Rob Riggle, who’s like an ex Marine, but a comedian. Yeah. Uh, he was hanging out one night in the doorway to the basement. They have like the, one of those corrugated, um, gates. And, uh, out of nowhere, it started banging from the inside, like just rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle. And Rob Riggle, you know, uh, military veteran, Rob Riggle, uh,
like he was just like he was just like he was just like shat himself and left like he was just shat himself and left like he was just shat himself and left like he was just gone gone gone it was like no f this place and there it was like no f this place and there it was like no f this place and there was one time where like they had to go was one time where like they had to go was one time where like they had to go get something in the basement for or get something in the basement for or get something in the basement for or something right and no one wanted to go and something right and no one wanted to go and something right and no one wanted to go and said okay so let’s all go together so said okay so let’s all go together so said okay so let’s all go together so i’ll go where’s rob riggle and i’ll go where’s rob riggle and i’ll go where’s rob riggle and i think rob i think rob was in this in think rob i think rob was in this in think rob i
And they see in the corner a dark figure in the shadows, cannot make him out, but definitely a humanoid figure, right, who then runs at them. Meanwhile, one of the guys that’s down in the basement starts screaming that his hands are burning because this is apparently where they would put people’s hands on stoves. to get them to talk and, you know, get money out of money yeah so he felt that experience. So at this point, between running guy and screaming guy the the party goes, enough! And up the stairs they run. And a piece of cardboard drops on top of them. And the piece of cardboard reads, I think, the name. It’s either the name of of the the ghost downstairs or the name of one of the people in the party.
Oh, really? And just kind of scrawled on there. Who’s that? Okay, so when I woke up this morning, I had a package of butter tarts that were on the kitchen table. They were on the floor when I woke up this morning. Oh, is that right? You got a cat. Oh, yeah, right. I have a cat. Never mind. Never mind. Yeah, yeah. And a very clumsy wife, I’d add, too. That’s it. There’s something inside joke on that one, I think. She is not clumsy in the least. She’s one of the most dexterous people that I know. Well, that’s good. So I’m getting this feeling that obviously Todd is all in on the ghost theory. Absolutely. And Darcy is not. Not a believer. So what would it take Darcy for you to believe?
Just a ghost showing up with, I’m real. He would have to sit down with me for a while and show me how this is happening. Right, yeah. I’d still be like, yeah, no. I’m just way too high right now, that’s all. Sure, but there’s all kinds of things about the universe and the physical space out there that we could not understand and now do. Like, we used to think that everything revolved around the Earth, and it’s the opposite, right? It is. Oh, Bob, I really hate to break this to you. How does it go around when we’re flat? This is going to blow your mind. How come we don’t just fly off into space? We’re on a turtle. We’re on a flying turtle. So there’s all these things that we couldn’t explain, and now we do. And I think there is something to…
Psychic energy being released like something that we don’t see in the same way that there’s like parallel universes or something Sure, there’s like something gets jammed something screws up and something so so egregious something like that just tears the fabric that This one particular image or this one particular thing is kind of trapped in this moment in time Which which makes sense for like the the recurring ghost? yeah, there was a there’s a story of a This woman, she’s a ghost expert in the U.S., and she told a story about this woman who knew that her place was haunted by this elderly gentleman who passed away in this apartment ages ago, and he never caused her any undue harm. He wasn’t creepy with her, but because he’s been dead for quite a while and bored, he would screw around with her. So, like, she’d be looking for a brush, and it wasn’t anywhere, and then suddenly the brush would show up here.
Or like, you know, she would go to the makeup cabinet and her makeup’s all like all over the place. And so she’d say, ha, ha, ha, Leonard. But then one day, and she could always like feel him, like feel him around and just like, oh, okay, Leonard’s here, whatever. And she went to work one day. And Leonard had been dead for several, several, several years. And she could feel his presence in the car. So she could feel Leonard in the car with her. he was a car ghost. And a car ghost now and so and so it’s not like ghost the tv show where they have to stick to the property. So he was yeah he was mobile so he was he was like the guy with the arrow through his neck yeah and uh and so she she said to Leonard, let’s call him leonard it’s like um i know you want to join me today. I know you want to come out, but this world is not
the same one that you left. Not for ghosts and and i don’t think you would be very comfortable out here. I think you should go back to the apartment. And then she felt him go away. Really? Yeah. That’s a weird one. That’s a good one. I like, I am all about this all right here’s the only weird thing i got. Okay, so. Okay. You mentioned like dimensions and stuff like that when i was a kid. yeah and I was a kid, I walked like there’s paths through the woods all around my house, right? So I would cross the main main road they’re only highway. Cross the road into a path in the woods. I walked and i walked and i walked and i walked and i walked. And then i came out of the woods on the other side of the road where i had gone in.
I kind of looped around like a side scroller and come out the other side. Exactly. A Pac-Man situation. For the longest time, I had convinced myself that I had traveled to a different dimension. Everything’s exactly the same, but I had somehow… That was Edward Island. Mom’s got tentacles now, but that’s cool. That’s cool, though. That’s an interesting story because… I’ve never had anything like that happen. And I think that that would be, Well, I mean, you’re a kid, right? Yeah, chances are I dreamt the whole thing. But still, for years and years, I would explain things like, oh, this is why this happened to me. This is why I’m so unlucky. This is not my real universe. If you would have walked the other way, that was the lucky door, and you walked the unlucky path. I feel like even later on, I actually tried to recreate the trip, and I just got lost. Just to try to get back to where you started.
i was waiting for darcy to go. I was walking through the woods and i was convinced that nelson mandela died in prison. I was convinced of it. The Mandela effect. The Mandela effect. We have it because darcy walks through the woods but but that that kind of goes back to my point where you think like like the the berenstein bears i always do them as the berenstein bears yes right that’s how i thought they were. And apparently I’ve been wrong this entire time. That’s not unusual. No, that’s just par for my course, really. No, that’s wild. Yeah, exactly. But I think I’m somewhere in between on the topic because I actually don’t think that they’re necessarily ghosts. Yeah. It could be anything. That’s what we call them. But I think it is a phenomenon that we haven’t
Figured out we haven’t figured out what it is. Yeah, probably because here’s the other thing. The reason that you are able to discover these things that kind of change our world scientifically is that you throw research at it and you Find some form of instrumentation that you can correct to gather data on the thing that you’re studying. Mm-hmm, right Yeah, yeah, they they made a sextant they the sundial they like all these things sort of like, oh, this all kind of helps put the picture together and I don’t know, and this is why I’m not a scientist nor a ghostologist. Is that a thing? You just made it up. I just made it up. I’m not a ghostologist. I don’t know sort of like where do you even begin trying to calibrate the paranormal, right? Exactly. So look at the lady in red, right? When are these sightings occurring?
What is the period of the visits? What is the… Blood alcohol level, yes. Exactly, yes. You’re right. How many cannabinoids are in that candy bar you bought? Right, exactly, exactly. Yeah, it could be. No, you’re right. I think that part of the big problem with the paranormal is measuring things because people measure things on scales that aren’t real and so then it can be, oh, well, this is a very scary place, so it’s a hundred rad something right you know and and they just kind of make it up as they go along, where, yeah, you need to have somebody who sits there and then just writes down okay ghost came through yeah at 10 30 ghost came through at 7 30. you know. And this is the scoville units of scary.
Yeah, exactly. That’s what we need to find, the Scoble units of scary. This is your Carolina Reaper of paranormal activity right here. But again, what are the things, when these things happen, when they occur? Is there a time of day? Is there a temperature? Is there a season? Is it whatever it is? Is it moisture content? Is it too humid? Like what is it? i i still go back to like this this time continuum thing where there’s like the there’s a skip, there’s a scratch in the dvd that makes it repeat itself right so so what what triggers that you know right darcy well it’s all assuming that this is all real and it’s not oh we’re in a computer simulation. Right. These aren’t just like, yeah, these aren’t just weird pixelations. These are
Someone watch the Matrix. Someone watch the Matrix. Possibly while high. Possibly while high. You mean to tell me we could all be in a computer somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. We’re all just, this is just one giant game of Grand Theft Auto with a pimply faced 13 year old. Yeah. Who’s really boring and he’s not out screwing hookers and driving cars into things. He’s having us talk. Right. we are all inside the snow globe. Yes, we’re all inside the snow globe of an autistic child saying elsewhere yeah exactly well here let’s uh let’s hear from one more person here, and then uh we’re gonna wrap this up. All right. Maybe. This is ryan frank from the baggage Podcast, and you’re listening to mondo frico mondo frico mondo frico mondo frico all right guys do you want to i i meant to ask you at the beginning.
You want to talk about your show, the Oshkosh Pod? Yes. Oshkosh Bagosh. We’re one of the few audio and televisual podcasts out there that tackle children’s clothing. And it’s about time that two middle-aged gentlemen really fucking opened up the door on this one. Nothing creepy at all about this. I’m sorry. Oh, show pod. Oh, show pod. Oh yeah. It’s right there. Look at that. It’s right there. Yeah. Oh, sorry. It’s going to be right here. Yeah. Right there. Exactly. Yeah. So Darcy, you want to take this one? Nope. You got it. So Darcy is my, as he’s the producer of my podcast, we’ve been actually podcasting since 2007. Yeah. Is that right? 2007. Oh my God. That’ll be 20 years. We will have been podcasting next year. Seems like enough time to figure out how to stop. Right? We haven’t. Too much forward momentum on this. It’s like, if we stop, then what happens? Then what do we do? Keep treading water. Okay, I’ll keep treading water. What happens if you stop? You don’t want to know what happens when you stop. Okay, alright. So for 23 seasons, we did Comedy Above the Pub, and we did that in person.
uh, we did it as part of a live show, uh, at a, uh, at a, a pub in Toronto and it was above a pub. And that was the name of my comedy show that we did then, uh, comedy about the pub. And so we just branded the show with it. And so we will get comedians, typically comedians on, and then they would do a set that night, you know, at the comedy show after we’re done talking, talking with them on the podcast. And, uh, we just kept going. We did 23 seasons of it. And, um, because we’re doing it over Zoom, because we live in different cities and uh trust me, I don’t want anyone in this house so i uh uh we said, okay so let’s rebrand. And we were uh trying to figure out sort of like, you know, what what the show was and what we kind of wanted it to be if we’re going to change after 23 seasons and um we had dylan brody on.
one of the last guests of Comedy of the Pub. And after we stopped recording on the Zoom, we just started telling each other street jokes. And we’re like, well, this is what comics do. green rooms like in between shows or like when you know the headliners on it’s like okay I’ve seen this guy’s act six times I’m gonna go hang in the car on the road is like, you know, when you’re driving to the gig and after everyone bombs, you know, you’re just like, okay, well, let’s, let’s, let’s forget that nonsense. Hey, here’s what? And so. Darcy and I just kind of looked at each other and went, this is the show. This is what it is. So we have a conversation, just like we did with our previous show. But now we close it with the most uncomfortable thing for any of our guests, which is them coming up with a favorite street joke. And so we actually have, when they don’t have a street joke at the ready, we had a guest on who wrote a book of street jokes called Mom’s Dad Jokes.
And Vic Bell is her name. And she just compiled this great tome. So we’ll sometimes use those. Darcy has a, do you have that with you, Darcy? Do you have the jazz book? So he actually has a jazz book that has jazz jokes in it called Jazz Anecdotes. And then we had Bryn Potty, who is a comedian and author who now makes his home in, it’s not Scotia, isn’t it? Yeah, he lives in where the Blue Nose is. Liverpool. Nope, nope, the other one. Nope, nope. Lunenberg. Thank you, Lunenberg. Thunder Bay. Lunenberg, Lunenberg. The Thunder Bay’s in Ontario. I won’t have this, Bob. Jeez. So he actually grabbed his joke out of this book and he sent it to us so that we now use it from the time. It’s called Son of a Meech, The Best of Brian Mulroney Jokes. Edited by Mark Breslin, who is the founder of Yuck Yucks. So never missing a branding moment.
opportunity. And who was Brian Mulroney? Brian Mulroney was, according to this, Canada’s worst prime minister. The best jokes about our worst prime minister. I would say to date. I mean, we had a dip in progress for a while, but that ship seems to be righted a little bit, so we’re back on course. Yeah. So yeah, we’ve got those. And by the way, so this was published in, just so you know, this was published in, let me see if I can find a date, 1991. So all of this is just hot off the presses. Fresh. Fresh meat. Brian Mulrooney was using a fax machine one day. What? There’s so many things in that sentence I don’t understand. What’s a day? So yeah, so that’s the show. We have, typically they’re comedians, but we have actors, we have musicians. And they come on. Magicians, yep. We have, yeah, we’ve had a whole ton of folks and then they come on and they tell a street joke. Are you on Bob twice? Yes, that’s right. Yeah.
There you go. That shows you the caliber of guests they have on the show. You know you’re one of our favorites, right? That’s why we keep asking you to come back, Bob, because we like having you. We enjoy the pleasure of your company. Oh, yeah. That’s fantastic. I appreciate that. We found each other on that weird Tinder for podcasters website. Yeah. No, the funny thing is, kind of an aside story here, I contacted you. Well, it was still called Comedy Over the Pub or whatever. But you were changing and you put me off. You’re like, wait a minute. We’re changing things up. Hold on a minute here, buddy. Come back to me in about a couple of months because we’re trying to figure stuff out. I couldn’t be on Comedy Under the Pub.
right over the club because uh adjacent to the pub because you were you were in turmoil at that point. Yes, we were. Darcy didn’t have his space organized enough yeah the churn of 23 seasons has weighed upon us, and so we were you know, we’ve got letterhead to change, you know, we’ve got yeah domains the business cards yes that’s right. Exactly. Can we use the same phone number? No, burn it. What about the fax machine? Who am I? Brian Mulroney? No. Oddly enough, a weird thing. I was looking there at Darson. He’s like kind of Willy Wonka. He’s got like half of a calendar and a part of an air conditioner. Yep. And he’s cut. He’s cut off at the torso. It’s kind of like Willy Wonka’s office there. Yeah. Anyway.
Well, thanks, Guy. I appreciate you guys coming and being on the show. And I really, I had no idea that you would have stayed at the hotel or going to stay at this particular hotel, Fairmont Royal, York. I don’t know what that part’s for. And you stayed at another part of the chain and saw a ghost. And I’m hoping, I hope for your sake, you do get to go to the eighth floor and you do get to see the Lady in Red. I am going to beeline it there. I’ll tell you that much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Darcy, I, you know, I hope you can Pac-Man your way back into your original universe and everything’s right with the world. And there’s no podcasting. And there’s no podcasting.
Possibly no Todd Van Allen. That would be paradise for him. Or maybe Todd is just like a used car salesman that gives you free cars or something. Maybe something like that. But thanks, guys, for being on Mondo Frico. We appreciate it. And if you do see Lady in Red, you’ve got to let me know and we’ll talk about that. Oh, I will. Trust me, that will be a Facebook post that never ends. All right, guys. Hold on just a second. And I’m going to play out some music here. Fungo Frico!