College football kickoff is BACK, and to celebrate this momentous occasion, we're bringing in a special guest. EJ's cousin Joe whips up a fancy cocktail as we discuss the extremely problematic history of the rivalry between the Wildcats and the Fighting Illini. Join us as we ponder the great mysteries of this rivalry, such as — Should the winning team have rights to maim the losers with the trophy? Why is theft so rampant in the Big Ten? What's the best popcorn in the midwest?