So I went through my closet and drawers for spring cleaning, but there isn’t all that much there that I don’t wear… save one specific category I realize I may have legitimately grown beyond.

I had three years of wearing slacks and now I’m kind of done

I bought them all online, on sale

They weren’t all that much fun.

Up ’til then, trousers were a breeze

my grown-up job required easy-fitting

newish dungarees

and ties just for emergencies

when clients happened by. You see,

I’d been an artist, more or less

in companies that let you dress

the way you wanted, and I guess

(although I never looked a mess)

my individuality

was (on my outside) what you’d see -

I’d feel a skosh of true self-loathing

wrapped in carbon copy clothing…

…back in grade school, as a kid

we all wore uniforms

bright light blue shirts and navy pants

for eight years was the norm.

Right after that I quietly swore

not to wear navy anymore:

thus, in the four-plus decades hence

black 501s just made more sense

until three years ago when I set out to do some good

in places where a well-established dress code said I should

pipe down, fit in, and not offend

head low, eyes high, discreetly blend

and wear the pants we tell you to

(which didn’t seem that hard to do)

so I dut-i-fully secured

a pair for every weekday

and paired them with a collared shirt

for grown-up business cosplay

as Dockers™ mean security

and represent maturity

in roles with deep obscurity

but they did not “spark joy” in me

and slowly as the time went by

their fit became much tighter

because I’d set the dryer on high

(large load / all cotton / extra dry).

Then one by one they lost their sheen

and sported dark grey tones

as each leg sleeve shrunk farther up

above my anklebones

until one day they didn’t fit.

I can’t imagine how, but

I could barely fasten them.

My daughter wears them now.

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