We don’t enjoy confrontation, but it’s impossible to grow without it. Healthy confrontation calls for ‘speaking the truth in love’ (Ephesians 4:15 NIV) to the people we value. Just as God confronts each of us in the areas where we need to grow, He expects us to do the same for others. It isn’t easy. But here’s some advice and guidance to help when we’re faced with confronting someone: 1) Talk to the person, not about them. Healthy confrontation should be direct and, whenever possible, done in private. It calls for thoughtful words that we deliver firmly but graciously. When people are hurting, we need to treat them with love and care. 2) Don’t exaggerate. Instead of generalising, we should give specific examples. When Nathan the prophet confronted King David about his sin with Bathsheba, he was specific. We also need to keep our own emotions in check. That might call for waiting until any anger we feel has faded (which might take a lot of prayer on our part!). 3) Don’t guilt-trip them; help them. We should leave the person we’ve confronted with a clear direction on how to improve. Leaving them confused, hurt, and criticised isn’t fair, isn’t constructive, and can lead to more intense issues and unwanted complications. The best approach is to calmly identify the problem and suggest ways it can be resolved. Our goal isn’t to expose somebody but to show them a better way. 4) Don’t be critical; be compassionate. If we’re over-critical, we’ll find ourselves condemning rather than confronting. In all honesty, every one of us is travelling on a bumpy road with lots of potential for mishaps, so we should approach others with love and concern.

What Now?

Is God is prompting you to give a word of correction to someone? Before speaking to them, write down what they’ve done wrong, and a solution or suggestion of how to improve. Stick to the facts and be clear about what you need to say before taking action.