Is tragedy necessary for growth? Tony shares his personal experience of trying to navigate the complex emotions around a car crash involving his daughter Alexa and how difficult it can be to access tools of healing when you are the one impacted by the tragedy. Tony references the article "The Ethics of Tragedy," by Susi Ferrarello Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lying-the-philosophers-couch/201706/the-ethics-tragedy and "Finding Purpose in the Face of Tragedy and Adversity," by Ralph Lewis M.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-purpose/201811/finding-purpose-in-the-face-tragedy-and-adversity

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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

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[00:00:00] Hey, everybody, welcome to the virtual couch, I'm your host, Tony Overbay, and today I think I will actually be laying down on the couch and you will be my therapist. I'm not even quite sure where to start with today's episode, but I guess I can start with what I know best, which is my own experience.

[00:00:16] Saturday this last Saturday, just a few days ago, my wife, Wendy and I were out car

[00:00:20] Shopping, and that is a long story in and of itself. We had just left the dealership so incredibly frustrated for every reason that you can probably think of. That has to do with trying to buy a car, especially in the current market. But we move over to another dealership and a salesman is just starting in and I'm noticing that I'm starting to go flat. My affect is starting to go flat when I get a phone call from my son in law. Mitch and Mitch is an amazing person. We we are growing closer and closer. He and I text we have family group texts, but he doesn't normally call, so I immediately take it, and I will never forget the feeling that immediately welled up inside of me as he shared that our oldest daughter, Alex, his wife, had been in a very serious car accident, and I was terrified that the next words were going to be that she she had made it. And even talking about this right now causes my heart rate to elevate and tears to, well, up in my eyes. And he went on to say that someone had run a red light and had hit her, and she had been rushed to an emergency room somewhere. I believe outside of Phenix, Arizona, we're in Northern California, and my wife, Wendy could tell at that point that something was wrong and we headed outside and I tell her that Alex has been in a car wreck.

[00:01:27] She's alive, but it sounds like she's in pretty bad shape. And initially we hear that she has a collapsed, punctured lung, bruised kidney, lacerated spleen, which we still are not quite sure what a spleen is, but it may need to be removed. And her pelvis has several breaks and there's going to be a lot of work done. And Wendy and I immediately just start driving home and we both start sobbing. And I've never felt so helpless about anything in...