Most just simply try to avoid chaos. Some deal with so much chaos with kids, instead of dealing with issues, you avoid them by enrolling them in as many activities as you can. For some, there’s marriage chaos so you work more and longer to avoid dealing with it. Some never learn how to relate to each other because you watch TV to avoid chaos. Some avoid chaos by keeping everyone at arms length - your kids feel it, your spouse and friends know it, you do it because you’re trying to stay out of the mess.