Today I Learned I have to Let it Hurt Again. I was thinking about how I’ve been letting my podcast slide. How I’ve been neglecting to take the time to workout all the ideas I’ve been coming across. I know that since I haven’t invested that time into understanding new ideas that I’ve become dumber than what I would of been. Things that I learned but didn’t do a podcast on or at least do an essay on will have to be taught to me again by life. I feel that’s a bit wasteful. I was trying to figure out what’s the reason why I haven’t been recording and uploading new episodes. I was always a busy guy. When I first started this podcast and all the way throughout. There was always school and there was always work. So the lie I told myself about how I’m so busy with school and work isn’t valid. The real reason is that ever since I achieved my goal from last Summer I’ve let that basic success get to my head. The one major thing I wanted to do last Summer was move out and transfer to University. Achieving that meant the world to me. And though I should be happy with myself for overcoming the challenges that came with achieving that goal I shouldn’t bask in glory anymore. I shouldn’t let my burning desire to learn more and become a better person fade away. That is a blessing. I realize that that is what’s happening. I’ve become to prideful. Too satisfied with myself. All when there are an unlimited amount of challegebes that I haven’t yet accomplished. I’ve found that another for me to get rid of my self satisfaction is to do something that I did last summer to motivate me to work as much as I did. There were days I didn’t want to get up at 5:45am and walk to the laundrymat to work. But what I did I order to get myself out of bed was think about my lowest moments. I throughout about when I turned 22 and how I was extremely embarrassed with myself. I thought about how little I had accomplished with my four years out of high school. I thought about how I had let everybody down who ever believed in me. I thought about how most importantly I let myself down. I was disgusted with myself. I was ashamed of myself. That feeling I felt prompted me to go back to school immediately. I used that extreme self dissatisfaction to power through the hard times. The times when I didn’t feel like going to work. So that’s what I plan to do with this podcast. I’m going to remember the time I realized that instead of getting smarter with the passage of time I got dumber. I’m going to remember the shame I felt realizing that I had no self control and couldn’t organize myself properly. I’m going to remember the time we’re it felt like I couldn’t of done anything right and it was only failure after failure. That feeling is going ward off high self satisfaction. I should be happy with advances that I’ve made but I should be more focused on getting all there is out of myself as possible. That means learning more. That means failure more. That means taking the time to thoroughly workout ideas and share them. I have to remember my most painful and lowest moments so that I can continue to dig down and push to reach the gems that are inside me.