Mackenzie Kryzer has a 9 month old daughter and is adjusting to working full time for AllHealth Network working in the substance use/mental health world. She is in Colorado but moved from Minnesota and wasn't really sure she wanted to be a mom all of her life. She was born with a 10% chance of survival. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks after birth because she was born with diaphragmatic hernia or other. Many of the people in her sphere had very traumatic birthing situations so she was not sure she wasn't sure. As a baby she had to have surgery and a breathing tube so she was very worried about the somatic issues that could have all caused. Pregnancy scared her, parenting scared her, being tied down scared her but ultimately she decided she did want to try it and low and behold she found out she was pregnant 7 months into trying. The invisible labor of managing all of the emotions in a household is one of the hardest parts of being a mama. She didn't bond immediately with her baby but that has come and having her baby on Christmas Eve made it even more amazing with family around for the birth but then everyone left. To be on your own with a new baby and having very little family who live locally is tough but her and her little family is working for them. She loves bedtime with her baby for all of the reasons and she has her brother and her mom Facetime once a week and read a story to her daughter at bedtime. She had a pretty traumatic situation on her first solo trip with her daughter but they made it home for a visit and all was well. She wishes she would have known that the emotional work is hard but sometimes it doesn't always feel right. That's ok.