At least half of FBS coaches made $1 million or more last season, and there doesn't seem to be any workable, smart way to keep those salaries from continuing to balloon. Fortunately, we have several dumb and bad ways to offer instead, as well as timely opinions on:

• Shrek
• Football in the northeast
• Improving a mediocre football team
• Rap beefs and how white dads should not be your source for information on them
• The first down chain
• One pot meals
• Star Wars, yet again