The Ten Thousand Things

Letting go of friends

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The team discuss the art of letting go of friends. Outgrowing friends or just growing in different directions? Joe says if you start judging friends it’s the beginning of the end. We get into painful friendship break ups.

Platonic friendships – are men just biding their time? Sam recalls dating the hottest woman on Brunswick St, just to put it on the public record. Joe & Ali discuss their own weird bipolar friendship. Sam sings some Peter Allen.

Deep conversations between men without mind altering substances – are they possible?

Everyone wants to tell Ali and Joe their darkest secrets on dates but never want to see Joe again and want to be with Ali forever.

Sam discusses his major bromance break up.

We discuss money and class coming between people.

Sam talks about making friends his family at boarding school and that influences his adult friendships. 

Who can we really reach out to when we’re depressed?

We talk for twenty minutes after we say we’re wrapping up and it’s all gold!

  • (00:00) - Letting go of friends
  • (00:21) - Letting go of friends more as you get older
  • (00:52) - It's not because 'you've outgrown them' - there's too much ego in that
  • (01:42) - Real friends can grow apart and together and can help each other grow
  • (02:52) - When I start juding a friend, I know it's done
  • (04:17) - Not afraid to let go. It will create space
  • (06:58) - Who are your go to people?
  • (10:35) - Friends you only 'see' or talk to online
  • (11:39) - A/romantic friendships - when Harry met Ali - Friendzone
  • (23:08) - Bromances and Broking Up
  • (25:36) - You cannot swing by another man's house for a cup of coffee?
  • (29:24) - Some friends you can just 'go there' straight to the deep and meaningful
  • (31:17) - The mandatory dating content part of every episode
  • (34:03) - The problem with empathy
  • (35:21) - 'I can't adjust my settings'
  • (35:26) - Bipolar friendships / movies
  • (37:02) - Drifting and ghosting
  • (40:02) - Class, money, and friendships
  • (43:18) - Accepting your life, judging other people, creating space
  • (44:11) - Being the needy texter friend
  • (46:44) - You're not moving on because you're better
  • (50:02) - Not reaching out, doesn't mean I don't love you. Not wanting to 'impose'
  • (53:16) - Deleting numbers
  • (54:56) - Degendering friendship. Platonic/romantic, female/male, not so different

    • Creators & Guests
    • Sam Ellis - Host
    • Ali Catramados - Host
    • Joe Loh - Host

      • Links to article and movies mentioned:
      The problem with empathy, Vox, 2017. The article discusses the book Against Empathy - by Paul Bloom

      Two bipolar romance movies
      Katie Holmes - Touched with Fire
      Jennifer Lawrence - Silver Linings Playbook

      If you like the show, tell a friend where to find us -> pod.link/tttt. Compliments, complaints, corrections at Insta/Threads, we're all in the metaverse dammit.

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      The Ten Thousand ThingsBy Sam Ellis, Joe Loh and Ali Catramados