Shame doesn’t start with us. It’s handed to us through the words, glances, rules, and silences we grow up around. Some messages are loud and explicit — “Being gay is wrong.” Others are subtle but just as damaging, like a parent or guardian flinching when sex comes up on TV or a teacher avoiding any conversation about queer relationships.

To release shame, we need to do more than simply identify these messages. We need to call them out, question them, and see how they’ve been shaping our sexual selves.

Here’s how to do that.

To work through this together, schedule an individual coaching session with me, and we’ll let go of the messages that are no longer serving you.

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