Chinese don’t like to say “thank you”?

系列：有趣的文化差异

第一集：中美“谢谢”的用法差异

在中国，“谢谢”是礼貌的基本表达。但在日常生活中，亲近的人之间反而不太频繁说“谢谢”。比如你妈妈给你盛了一碗饭，你一般不会抬头说“谢谢妈”，因为这种表达在家庭关系里会显得有点“见外”。

但在美国，“thank you”几乎无处不在。无论是服务员倒水、同事帮个小忙，甚至家人递个东西，他们都会习惯性地说“thanks”或者“thank you”。如果你不说，还会显得不礼貌。

这种差异反映了中美文化中“人情”与“平等”的不同价值观：

• ​ 中国文化中，亲密关系意味着不需要客套，讲的是情分。
• ​ 美国文化则强调个人独立和平等，哪怕是再亲近的人，也需要表达尊重和感激。

这也解释了为什么很多美国人来中国时，会觉得中国人“不太说谢谢”；而中国人去了美国后，则可能被“thank you”“thank you”搞得有点受宠若惊。

我个人的经历 在出国以前，我也不爱说谢谢，除非特别重大的事情。但是，在澳洲待了几年之后，我也常常说谢谢了。

Series: Interesting Cultural Differences

Episode 1: The Different Ways “Thank You” Is Used in China and the U.S.

In China, saying “thank you” is a basic expression of politeness. However, in daily life, people don’t often say it to those they are close to. For example, if your mom serves you a bowl of rice, you wouldn’t usually look up and say, “Thanks, Mom.” In fact, doing so might feel a bit too formal or distant within a family setting.

In contrast, in the U.S., “thank you” is used almost everywhere. Whether it’s a waiter pouring water, a colleague offering help, or a family member handing you something, people naturally say “thanks” or “thank you.” If you don’t, it might even come across as impolite.

This difference reflects the distinct values behind “relationships” in Chinese culture versus “equality” in American culture:

In Chinese culture, closeness often means you don’t need to be overly polite—what matters is emotional connection.

In American culture, individualism and equality are emphasized, so even the closest relationships require verbal expressions of respect and appreciation.

This also explains why many Americans visiting China might feel that Chinese people “don’t say thank you very often,” while Chinese people going to the U.S. might be surprised or even overwhelmed by all the “thank yous” they hear.

My personal experience:

Before going abroad, I didn’t say “thank you” much either—unless it was for something really significant. But after living in Australia for a few years, I find myself saying it all the time now!