The wool has been pulled over our eyes for about seventy years now (or maybe 500 years), where we think that we have liberated women, but really we have walked into a trap. I’m not talking about women’s sports or women having careers traditionally held by men here, I’m talking about the real things that separate men from women.

Men have walked into the trap as well. We’ve all walked into the trap, each into our own separate trap, claiming freedom while the snare tightens around us in our solitary “liberty” cages. Yes, there is a well-known trap, called the “Two Income Trap,” but there is a worse trap, called the gaping maw of the underworld (better known as hell). The trap is that we think we can hammer morality into any shape we like, but we can’t. The trap is that we think motherhood and fatherhood are not particularly important, and that men can be women and women can be men, but they can’t.

Some things are not changeable. When balancing a wheel, the more we try to hammer a wheel into the shape we’d like, the more unbalanced the wheel becomes. The more you hammer, the worse it gets and whole wheel eventually throws the bearing and destroys the machine.

We’ve seen this movie before and Catholics are always the “jerks” that stand athwart certain truth claims made by voices in the culture. But Catholics are only jerks in this case because they must teach what was handed down. It’s either abandon the faith and bow to the Golden Statue, or set your face like flint against the world, the flesh, and the devil and continue to preach what Christ and the Apostles taught.

What is a sin has been defined since before Jesus taught the Apostles, and then Jesus clarified and refined it. It cannot be changed. When people get angry at the Church, it is solely because the Church repeats what Jesus said and the Apostles taught. This is why the church that Christ founded is the one with authority, which really makes people bristle. But the fact is this: morality cannot be legislated, it cannot be papered over, it cannot be coerced, and it cannot be softened to fit the mood of middle-schoolers, no matter what kind of emotional hostages they try to take.

What is sin and what is not sin, is not up for debate. There are Cardinals in the Catholic Church today who do not understand this, and they certainly do not understand Matthew 5:17-19. But the teaching of the Apostles is as timeless as God in heaven. Our own consciences can inform us that the natural law is right if we could only sit in a room quietly and listen to that small voice without reaching and scrolling on the phone. Our smartphones today make us less wise than ancient people, who were more likely to understood their need for a savior far better than we can, because they understood suffering, and they knew what Jesus’ redemption meant for their bodies and souls.

Americans today don’t like this idea of rules set in stone, such as Commandments, which is why we continually try to interpret the Bible on a personal basis, which twists all into destruction. Personal interpretation of the Bible is precisely how the devil re-crafts the bad sale from the beginning of human history to infect the Messianic Age that we are living in now. The devil has lost the war, but he can win some battles along the way and take souls, and he does this by twisting morality and re-naming sins as holy things.

Throughout American history, from supporting slavery to selling consumerism to pushing the various evils of the Sexual Revolution, sola scriptura has been used to give sin a divine mandate, and thereby entrench it ever more securely in the culture. The Catholic Church, on the other hand, provides a solid foundation for doctrine and morality and has stood strong in the face of each attack. (from Don Johnson at Catholic Answers. For insight into our current fiasco of Biblical interpretation, read Don’s book: Twisted into Destruction.)

Without a doubt, men failed women before seventy years ago, but because of that failure that started in the 1960s with the lies of the sexual revolution, men have failed women even worse by allowing the current mania to thrash about so wildly. I realize that sin has been around since the Fall in the Garden, but the sixties gave it a boost, like a five-hour energy drink that lasted nearly a century.

What’s funny is that having received this unbridled, bursting sense of liberty, depression has hit an all-time high. But how can that be? I say it’s funny, but it’s not. It’s sad, because we are sad. We are reliving these Garden stories, over and over. When Eve took the fruit, men followed, and both ended up sad as they were cast out of the garden, keeping God’s image but losing his likeness. (For a good read on the fallout from the sexual revolution, read Adam and Eve After the Pill.)

The initial lie from the devil led to a bad relationship. And the lie started with a false sense of food security, leading to curiosity for knowledge, working against trust in the Creator, all of which preceded the sexual fall and made the people believe that they no longer needed God, or each other (much more on this in an upcoming series on food and sex).

Since the Fall, we just can’t learn. Men refuse to love women properly, and the mess begins all over. The enmity between man and woman repeats, and it only is combatted by humility and submission of husband and wife to each other. The backlash against toxic masculinity is appropriate, because the cartoonish ignorant version of manliness that marketing departments preached to men was an absurdity, and it was the least Biblical idea in history. Trucks, sports, money, and sex do not make a man “manly.” A man driving a truck in a lift-kit doesn’t look manly, he is just wearing a giant fig leaf. And a man who kowtows and removes himself from all responsibility to defer to women is pathetic. Healthy masculinity buys a truck if he needs to haul stuff around. Healthy masculinity doesn’t buy extra horsepower just to bark his tires at a stoplight, he buys extra horsepower because his job is pulling heavy things.

Material things, when presented as necessities to manliness, make him into a buffoon. Do you know what actually makes a man “manly”? This will come as a shock, because it’s the same thing that can make a woman “womanly”.

Acting like Jesus makes a man. Imitating Christ is how you become a father, a son, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, or a friend. Likewise, imitating Christ is how you become a better mother, a daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, or a friend. Dying to self makes a man manly. Dying to self makes a woman womanly.

There is right masculinity, and Jesus exemplified it. He lives it. He did not take a wife, but he shows us how to live whether we are single or married, man or woman, rich or poor, Jew or non-Jew. And although he did not marry, he made it utterly plain that having a wife, one wife, through all the hard times, makes a man masculine. Gathering notches on your truckbed can only make a man into a fool and an enemy of God.

But the backlash against the absurd form of macho manliness has swung the pendulum into what girls today are told is liberation, where they are essentially being taught to act like men and want the things that men want. I have not seen any ads teaching girls to desire a family and loving husband, but I have seen many holding up sports glory, money, and sex as the highest goods. The funny thing is that many boys are now realizing that sports glory and money will not bring happiness, and are pulling away from those pursuits. The false idols are showing their sandy bottoms. They are washing away and will continue to erode over the next generation.

However, in telling girls they can be men, we declare they have been empowered, but have they? Mocking motherhood and marriage has not been empowering, and since women cannot actually be men, but can imitate them, they have shunned their nature for man’s nature. And once again, due to this disorder, God will allow us to be taught by disorder, by our own choice. When the formless void that God created and filled is not filled in the way he designed, disorder erupts.

But we have done more than mock motherhood and the family unit. We have spent the past forty years mocking fatherhood, with sitcoms fathers, particularly Homer Simpson, leading the charge. Now the latest fad is to replace fatherhood with the government, the State, and we’ll learn that social workers make for an even worse husband than Homer Simpson in the long run. The Soviet Union discovered this and the fallout from that was worse than ten Chernobyl incidents. At least radiation poisoning only affects the body, not both the body and the soul. The United States has a long stretch of disunity ahead, and we have chosen it.

C.S. Lewis once said that hell is always locked from the inside, and people who choose to live in hell, in sin, merely refuse to turn the lock, because they think sin will make them happy. This is especially true in a marriage that is viewed as a temporary contract rather than covenantal joining of two people into one flesh. If marriage is not a fully binding and joining of the flesh, then why bother? This is the same argument that we have for the Eucharist. If it’s just a symbol and not the Body and Blood of Christ, then who cares? If marriage is just a symbol of the State, of a legal contract, then who wants it? We want the sacred, and that’s what Sacraments are, and sacraments are the path to God, to uniting our will and lives and marriages to God. In marriage, a man submits to his wife and his wife submits to him. This is the least anti-woman idea in human history.

If the Woman at the Well doesn’t tell the story of an awakening by turning away from sexual sin, then I don’t know what does. New life comes when the Woman at the Well rejects her personal sin and understands God’s forgiveness. She realizes that men have used her as an object, and perhaps she has used men in the same way. Leaving the well, drunk on the living water, she knows that sex is a bad substitute for God in the temple of her heart. She is suddenly unshackled from her own past and the identity lies she has been led to believe. She is healed after meeting God. Coming to know God’s will for her, her brokenness is suddenly made sense of. All is clear. She was blind but now can see. The vice that she pursued, her weakness, is the very thing that purifies her in the end into holiness. We are a world of individuals, sad and depressed like the Woman at the Well just gasping for thirst, to taste this living water and return to a life of virtue.

The Apostles had a group of women in the center of Church formation. Mary, the Mother of God, and Mary Magdalene could not have more important roles in the founding of Christendom, and they still hold those roles. Martha, Joanna, Photini…there are hundreds upon hundreds of women saints that are venerated, with buildings and churches and feast days named after them. There is no Church without women, because without Mary, the Mother of God, we have no incarnation, and without Mary Magdalene and the other women, no one is at the tomb on Easter morning when they first discover that Jesus is risen. To this day, it is more likely women that hear the voice of the living God. They are the ones that often lead men to this glorious mystery. Go to any parish and take a look around. Who is leading the Rosary before Mass? Who is managing the office and records? Who is organizing faith formation? Who is prepping the altar for Mass? Who is leading the choir? Women are everywhere in the Church. They are valued far beyond what the secular world tells you, because the secular powers doesn’t want you to know this, and they certainly do not want you setting foot inside a Parish, lest you might become a Catholic. That is why the drumbeat of oppression and “Dark Ages” talk never ceases. There is an old saying among lawyers: “If the facts are on your side, pound the facts. If the law is on your side, pound the law. If neither is on your side, pound the table.” That is the game being played whenever you hear that the “Church hates women.” It is neither a fact nor a doctrine. It is a fabrication.

Here’s an excerpt from an article called “Does the Catholic Church Really Hate Women?”

Apparently the justice of Christian morality offered a refreshing perspective to women in the ancient world accustomed to husbands who cheated and left at will. The number of women who converted to Christianity in the early centuries after Christ indicates that women were attracted to this new way of life. Indeed, they were among the most zealous converts and defenders of the faith:

Christianity seems to have been especially successful among women. It was often through the wives that it penetrated the upper classes of society in the first instance. Christians believed in the equality of men and women before God and found in the New Testament commands that husbands should treat their wives with such consideration and love as Christ manifested for his Church. Christian teaching about the sanctity of marriage offered a powerful safeguard to married women (Henry Chadwick, The Early Church, Penguin, 58–59).

In light of this history, does anyone seriously believe that the Assyrian or Greek or Roman or Mesoamerican world respected women more than followers of Christ did? Can people argue that position with a straight face? Does anyone really think that the long era before Christ, and further back, before Abraham, was a “better” time for women? Aside from Christianity, did any other religion take over the world in this way, where women and marriage sounded the battle cry into the culture? The answer is a simple but loud, “No.”

This is exactly why marriage is the hill to die on for Catholics, and I’m referring to Sacramental marriage, not courthouse contractual marriage, as deemed to be marriage by the U.S. Government. Government marriage is as meaningful as an Apple end user license agreement. It does nothing spiritual, it’s only legal. Unjust laws do not change God.

And frankly, why would anyone care what a government thinks of marriage? Every government in history falls into the abyss of after a few hundred years. Is that really the arbiter of truth? Jeffersonian Democracy will not outlast God, so whatever is decreed from Congress is utterly useless for eternal life, which is what the concerns of the body and soul need to be aimed toward. What is the point of religion? It’s eternal life. It’s rebirth here and being raised to heaven hereafter. It’s not getting a legal document. It’s not winning power from a Supreme Court that will be a rusted out ruin, a weathered artifact, or a tourist stop in a hundred or a thousand years.

The only marriage that matters is that which is eternal in the eyes of God, in which two people become one flesh. All others are just certificates of participation and “pieces of paper,” as modern people like to call it. Marriage defined by government is meaningless, because government is not God. Men today will say, “Why do I need a piece of paper to prove my love?” The answer is: “You don’t.” The piece of paper isn’t a Sacrament. The Sacrament is the Sacrament. For this reason, whenever someone says, “I don’t need a piece of paper to prove I love you,” they are right, because a government piece of paper not only proves nothing, it does nothing. It should be called Garriage, for “Government marriage.” Or Narriage, for “Not Marriage.”

Sacramental Marriage changes two people into one. Two bodies become one, and two souls are bonded, which are only parted at death, as Jesus said there is no marriage in heaven. “When they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” (Mark 12:25).

You can hold this belief that the Church hates women only if you choose to completely ignore the actual facts of pre-Christian society and the incredible spread and long-lasting nature of Christ’s message and his Church. Christian marriage has outlasted empires, fads, intellectual movements, cosmic models of the universe, and it will outlast all versions of “government marriage” we currently pretend are real. After all of the current fads of open marriage and same sex marriage and polygamy fail, as they always have failed, the value of Sacramental Marriage will still be with us. It is not by accident that the Commandments are what they are. They were not invented at all, they were arrived at. They were not set forth to control people, they are what sets you free.

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