Remember when swallowing gum meant a 7-year digestive sentence? Or how Pop Rocks + soda would literally blow your insides up? Yeah… turns out, most of what we were told growing up in the ‘80s and ‘90s was straight-up bullshit.

In this solo episode, I’m diving headfirst into the hilarious (and slightly unhinged) myths we were raised on — from Santa surveillance and poisoned Halloween candy.

We’ll hit the classics:

• Swallowed gum = stomach cement

• Shaving = thicker hair (good news, teen boys)

• MSG = instant death + third eyeball

• And yes — razor blades in candy were 100% a thing… supposedly

But I’m not just listing them. I’m breaking down what it felt like to actually believe this stuff as a kid in a world without Google — where the grown-ups’ word was law, and fear was low-key the parenting style of the decade.

Expect unfiltered storytelling, dark humor, and plenty of “wtf were we even doing?” moments.

Plus, a new Caffeine & Coping segment where I talk about how life has finally slowed down, why my wife’s recent success is a huge win for our family, and how I accidentally became a pipe guy. (Yes, like Sherlock Holmes — but with ADHD and YouTube tutorials.)

No heavy life lesson at the end. No moral of the story. Just good old-fashioned childhood trauma, wrapped in nostalgia, and delivered with love.