Life Beyond B.S.

Season 2, Episode 2 (Episode 54)

Episode Title: Rewriting the Subconscious Code with guest Chantal Karyta

Have you ever wondered why you keep running the same frustrating patterns - procrastinating on your biggest goals, wrestling with imposter syndrome, or feeling like no matter how much you achieve, it's never quite enough?

In this episode of Life Beyond B.S., host Heather McNally sits down with Chantal Karyta - Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, Certified Hypnotherapist, behaviorist, and founder of Elite Mindset Therapy. Together, they go deep below the surface to explore how early childhood conditioning, societal expectations, and nervous system safety shape our daily choices and self-worth.

Instead of putting band-aids on symptoms like anxiety, emotional eating, or money blocks, Chantal shares how to uncover where those subconscious rules first began - and how to release them at the foundational level so real, lasting transformation feels effortless.

In this episode, we cover:

• The difference between managing surface-level symptoms and healing subconscious root causes

• How early childhood labels and "conditional love" shape our adult identity and business blocks

• Why your nervous system pulls you back toward familiar patterns (even when they hurt)

• The power of morning theta-state journaling to close mental loops and quiet inner chatter

• Re-parenting your inner child and breaking generational conditioning

• Simple, daily grounding techniques using breathwork and nature to signal safety to your body

  
  

  Connect with Chantal

  Website: Elite Mindset Therapy

  Instagram: @elitemindset_therapy

  YouTube: Elite Mindset Therapy

  Facebook: Chantal Karyta

  LinkedIn: Chantal

  Take the quiz: quiz.elitemindsettherapy.com 

Connect with Heather McNally

Ready to step out of autopilot, release conditioned patterns, and align your life with genuine self-trust and peace?

• Explore Programs & 1:1 Coaching: heathermcnally.com

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HeatherMcNallyOfficial

• Join the Community: Check out the Authentically Aligned Collective and the Rewritten anthology.

  Website: Authentically Aligned Collective

  Facebook: Authentically Aligned Collective

  Re-Written Anthology: available on Amazon

If this conversation touched your heart or sparked an aha moment, please take a moment to Like, Leave a Review, Subscribe/Follow on your favorite platform, and Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it today! Your support helps us reach more listeners looking to live fully, freely, and unapologetically.

How to Rewire Your Mindset & Choose Happiness (Even When Life Gets Messy) | Frank Clayton

Season 2, Episode 1 (Episode 53)

Welcome back to Life Beyond B.S.! In this episode, host Heather McNally sits down with Frank Clayton. Frank is a licensed mental health counselor, speaker, and author known as "The Happiest Therapist."

Together, we dive deep into the real science of happiness, post-traumatic growth, and how to break free from childhood patterns and limiting beliefs. Frank shares his powerful journey growing up with trauma and how reframing his past transformed his life and work.

We discuss why happiness isn't about ignoring life’s hard moments, how to rebuild true self-esteem using the "tug-of-war" model, and simple ways to start choosing joy today.

If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Comment, Subscribe/Follow, and Share it with someone who needs to hear this message today!

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Welcome to Life Beyond B.S. & Introducing Frank Clayton

02:50 - "Who are you at a soul level?" (Evolving Beyond What You Do)

05:40 - Overcoming Childhood Trauma & Finding Healing

14:40 - The Shift: Post-Traumatic Growth vs. PTSD

20:30 - How to Reframe Your Story & Stop Being the Victim

24:30 - Awareness, Acknowledgment & Choice: Reclaiming Your Control

32:00 - What is "Feeling Time"? (Why Hard Emotions Matter)

39:00 - The Science of Happiness: The 50/10/40 Rule

47:00 - The Tug-of-War of Self-Esteem: Thoughts, Beliefs & Behaviors

53:00 - Self-Compassion & Building a Bridge to Better Beliefs

58:30 - Teaching Resilience & Optimism to Children

01:04:30 - What Living a "Life Beyond B.S." Really Means

CONNECT WITH FRANK CLAYTON

• Website: https://positive.kids

• Explore Frank’s books & positive psychology resources for adults and kids!

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/TheHappiestCounselor/

YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@YourHappyTherapist

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourhappytherapist__/

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@the.happiest.therapist

CONNECT WITH HEATHER MCNALLY

• Website: https://heathermcnally.com

• Work with Heather: Explore coaching, podcasts, and upcoming events at https://heathermcnally.com

• Follow Life Beyond B.S. for weekly episodes on breaking free from societal expectations and living authentically!

One year. 52 episodes. Ten years without my mom. And one date that connects it all.

On October 13, 2016, I lost my mom, Patricia "Pat" Rico. On October 13, 2025, I launched Life Beyond B.S. And no, choosing that date wasn't a coincidence.

Today, as I celebrate the one-year anniversary of Life Beyond B.S., I'm sharing the deeply personal story behind why this podcast exists, the woman who helped shape me, and how the last ten years have changed the way I see myself, love, grief, and life itself.

💜 A gentle heads-up: This episode is emotional and deeply personal. We talk openly about illness, caregiving, death, losing a parent, grief, and some difficult family experiences. There are tears, vulnerable moments, and honest conversations about things that aren't always easy to hear. Please take care of yourself as you listen.

But this isn't simply an episode about losing someone.

It's about the life they lived. The ordinary moments that become extraordinary memories. The complicated emotions that come with loving and caring for someone. And what happens when loss makes you question how you're living your own life.

It's also about finding your voice, learning to trust yourself, challenging limiting beliefs, and discovering that you don't have to wait until you're more confident, more prepared, or more anything to begin living fully.

When I launched this podcast a year ago, I had plenty of fears. I didn't know if I could do it, if anyone would listen, or whether I had what it took.

52 episodes later, I know something I didn't fully believe back then: I'm capable. My voice matters. And so does yours.

In this anniversary episode, I reflect on what my mom taught me through her life, what grief has taught me over the past decade, and what a year of honest, vulnerable conversations has taught me about connection, courage, authenticity, and becoming more fully myself.

And yes, there are some funny stories, too. Because my mom was so much more than the person I lost.

This is also why I do the work I do.

I know what it's like to live under the weight of limiting beliefs, expectations, self-doubt, and stories about who you're supposed to be. I also know what it's like to question those stories, reconnect with yourself, and discover a life that feels genuinely yours.

As a coach, I help women explore those patterns, reconnect with their own values and desires, build self-trust, and begin making choices that align with who they truly are.

If something in this conversation resonates with you, I'd love to connect. I offer a complimentary discovery conversation where we can talk about where you are, what you want for yourself, and whether working together might be a good fit.

🌐 Visit HeatherMcNally.com to connect and explore working together.

And to everyone who has listened, watched, shared an episode, joined me for a conversation, or trusted me with a piece of your story over this past year: thank you.

You helped turn an idea I'd carried for years into something real.

Here's to my mom. Here's to one year of Life Beyond B.S. And here's to another year of real conversations, deeper connections, and living fully, freely, and unapologetically.

💜 If this episode moves you, please like it, follow or subscribe to Life Beyond B.S., and share it with someone who might need this conversation. I'd also love to hear what you take away from it in the comments.

Life Beyond B.S. with Heather McNally

Real Conversations. Brighter Lives.

#LifeBeyondBS #HeatherMcNally #LifeAfterLoss #GriefAndHealing #SelfDiscovery #PersonalGrowth #AuthenticLiving #FindingYourVoice

What if the thing you’ve been searching for outside of yourself has been inside you all along?

In this episode of Life Beyond B.S., I’m joined by bestselling author, speaker, and Connected Life Path founder Elaine Martini for a conversation about self-trust, intuition, authenticity, people-pleasing, personal growth, and what it really takes to reconnect with yourself underneath all the expectations and beliefs you’ve picked up along the way.

Elaine spent years searching for the thing that felt missing - through different careers, relationships, countries and versions of success. But even after getting many of the things she thought she wanted, she realized she still felt the same inside. That realization started a much deeper journey: learning to understand herself, work with her inner critic, reconnect with her intuition and begin living from what actually felt true.

We talk about why personal growth isn't about forcing yourself to “think positive,” and why uncomfortable emotions aren't necessarily the enemy. Elaine shares a beautiful way of thinking about emotions: they can be passengers in the car and have a voice — but they don't get to take the wheel.

We also dig into people-pleasing, the pressure to fit in, trusting your intuition, changing relationships, following dreams that don't make rational sense, and the courage it takes to show up as who you actually are.

Elaine shares why a relationship doesn't have to last forever to have been meaningful or successful — and why we don't have to judge a past version of ourselves using everything we know today.

And we talk about something I LOVE: the difference between waiting for confidence and building confidence by actually doing the thing. Elaine wanted to be a writer for more than 30 years. When her book finally became a reality, she could look back at all the things that hadn't worked before and recognize that she needed to become the woman capable of writing the book she eventually wrote.

This conversation is for anyone who's ever wondered:

Who am I underneath who I've been told I'm supposed to be?

Because maybe coming home to yourself isn't about finding one final, finished version of you.

Maybe it's learning to listen to yourself, trust yourself, question what no longer fits — and keep choosing what feels true now.

🎙️ In this episode: self-trust, intuition, authenticity, people-pleasing, inner criticism, emotional awareness, anxiety, identity, relationships, personal growth, finding joy, living in the present, overcoming fear, following your dreams, and learning to trust your own inner wisdom.

About Elaine Martini:
Elaine is a #1 bestselling author, speaker, and founder of Connected Life Path. She is the author of Truly Connected: Create a Life and Work Guided by Your Inner Wisdom, Authenticity, and Soul. Her work helps people reconnect with themselves, their intuition, creativity, purpose and uniqueness — and bring that connection into the way they actually live.

If something in this conversation made you think, question an old belief, or see yourself a little differently, don’t keep it to yourself! Like the episode, follow or subscribe to Life Beyond B.S., and share it with someone who needs to hear this conversation too. It’s one of the simplest ways you can help this podcast grow and help these conversations reach the people who need them.

🔗 Connect with Elaine:

Website: https://www.elainemartini.com/

Elaine's Book (read the first chapter FREE): https://www.elainemartini.com/firstchapter

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elainemartinicreate

🌐 Connect with Heather:

Website: https://heathermcnally.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HeatherMcNallyOfficial

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heathermcnallyofficial/

And as always, I want to know what this brings up for YOU:

Where in your life are you still trying to fit in instead of trusting who you actually are?

Thought You Had Your SHIT Together???

What happens when you do everything “right,” make the plan, prepare for what could go wrong - and life still doesn’t cooperate?

In this solo episode of Life Beyond B.S., Heather McNally is talking about self-trust, letting go of control, dealing with unexpected change, and what to do when life doesn’t go according to plan.

Because sometimes you really did prepare.

You thought ahead. You made the responsible choice. You anticipated the problem. You had the checklist.

And then reality apparently did not receive a copy of your itinerary. 😂

Heather shares two very different experiences from her own life - one involving her ongoing battle with Massachusetts and Rhode Island traffic on the way to an art class, and another involving a much more significant experience with changing her relationship with food and discovering that a plan she thought was solid had a pretty important hole in it.

And both experiences led to the same realization:

Sometimes you don't know what you don't know until you actually live it.

That doesn't mean planning doesn't matter. It doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare, make thoughtful decisions, or take personal responsibility when you genuinely could have done something differently.

But there's a difference between discovering a flaw in your plan and deciding there's a flaw in you.

In this episode, Heather explores why we can become so attached to our plans and desired outcomes, why hindsight makes it incredibly easy to judge past versions of ourselves, and how perfectionism, control, self-criticism, and fear of failure can make an unexpected outcome feel like evidence that we screwed everything up.

And then there's self-trust.

What if trusting yourself doesn't mean trusting yourself to always make the perfect decision?

What if it means trusting yourself to deal with whatever actually happens?

You can make the best decision you know how to make with the information you have today. And when tomorrow gives you new information, you can adjust, ask for help, change your mind, make a different choice - or admit that something simply isn't working anymore.

Changing the plan doesn't automatically mean you failed.

Sometimes it's what failing forward, personal growth, emotional resilience, and healthy self-trust actually look like.

Heather also challenges the idea that “having your shit together” means being perfectly organized, prepared, emotionally regulated, responsible, and somehow capable of preventing anything from ever going wrong.

Because, good luck with that. 😂

Maybe having your shit together means something else entirely:

When shit happens, you don't abandon yourself in the middle of it.

You may get angry. Cry. Get overwhelmed. Yell at traffic. Pick a fight you later realize wasn't really about the other person.

You're still human.

The question isn't whether you handled every moment perfectly.

The question is: What happens next?

Heather leaves you with two powerful questions for those moments when life doesn't go according to plan:

What is true right now?

And then:

Given what is true right now, what do I choose next?

Because you can't control every outcome, every circumstance, or every person around you.

But you can learn how to respond to reality instead of beating yourself up because reality wasn't in the fucking plan.

🎙️ Life Beyond B.S. with Heather McNally

Break the beliefs. Ditch the bullshit. Reclaim your life.

Learn more about Heather, coaching, the podcast, and upcoming offerings at HeatherMcNally.com

If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs the reminder that changing the plan doesn't mean they failed - and they don't need to know exactly what's coming next to trust themselves enough to meet it.

Who are you underneath everything you were taught you were supposed to be?

That's the question at the heart of this week's Life Beyond B.S.

I'm joined by mindset coach, entrepreneur, mom of four, and fellow soon-to-be anthology author Natica Sampson for a very real conversation about identity, self-trust, healing, personal responsibility, spirituality, abundance - and what Natica calls the messy middle.

Natica shares pieces of a life that included an abusive childhood, homelessness, addiction, group homes, and learning to survive long before she had the tools to understand what she was surviving. But this conversation isn't about staying in the past.

It's about what happens when you finally begin asking yourself the hard questions.

What do I actually want?
What do I believe?
Does this still serve me?
Who am I when I'm no longer living according to everyone else's expectations?

We talk about the identities and belief systems we pick up in childhood, how relationships can change when you change, learning to set boundaries with people you still love, and the difference between taking responsibility for your life and blaming yourself for what happened to you.

Natica also opens up about rebuilding her confidence and relationship with her body, motherhood, entrepreneurship, spirituality, and why she defines true abundance very differently from simply having money or material things. For her, abundance is love, joy, peace, experiences, connection—and creating a life that feels full from the inside out.

And we talk about something I think more people need permission to admit:

Growth can still be messy.

You can do the work and still struggle.
You can love your life and still have hard days.
You can become more aligned and still question yourself.
You can be healing and still be human.

Natica describes that space as the messy middle - and maybe the goal isn't to escape it as quickly as possible. Maybe it's learning who you are while you're in it.

Because ultimately, living your life beyond B.S. isn't about becoming perfect.

It's about having the freedom to breathe, trust yourself, make conscious choices, and create a life that actually feels like yours.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Identity and the belief systems we inherit
• Moving beyond survival mode
• Addiction, recovery and self-awareness
• Self-worth and the voice that asks, “Who the hell are you?”
• Outgrowing relationships and finding aligned community
• Boundaries without guilt
• Personal responsibility vs. self-blame
• Building confidence through self-love
• The messy middle of personal growth
• Spirituality, religion, energy and curiosity
• What true abundance actually means
• Motherhood as a catalyst for growth
• Entrepreneurship and trusting yourself
• Becoming the person you actually want to be

✨ Connect with Natica using the links below.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/18JFAy5ZEH/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/naticasampson?stkn=MTVhN2sxdG5wcXVheA==

TikTok: tiktok.com/@naticasampson

✨ Learn more about Heather, coaching, the podcast and upcoming offerings at HeatherMcNally.com

If this conversation spoke to you, share it with someone who may be in their own messy middle—and remind them that they don't have to have everything figured out to keep becoming who they are.

What are you waiting for?

The perfect occasion? More money? More confidence? A different body? A quieter season of life? Permission?

In this solo episode of Life Beyond B.S., Heather McNally starts with something surprisingly simple: beautiful patterned paper she loved so much that she refused to use it.

She was saving it.

Until one day, she didn't even like it anymore.

And that sparked a much bigger question: How often do we do the exact same thing with our lives?

We save the good china. We don't burn the beautiful candle. We wait to wear the clothes, take the class, get in the picture, rest, celebrate ourselves, try something new—or fully participate in our own lives.

Heather explores the psychology behind why we save the “good stuff,” including scarcity, loss aversion, perfectionism, learned beliefs, and our tendency to keep moving the finish line.

But this isn't an episode about telling you to throw caution to the wind or make reckless choices. There's a difference between delayed gratification and delayed living.

Sometimes waiting is wise.

And sometimes we're waiting because somewhere underneath it all is a belief that says:

Not yet.

Not until you're ready.

Not until you're thinner.

Not until you've earned it.

Not until you've figured everything out.

So Heather asks a different question:

Why am I waiting?

Because your life isn't waiting for you somewhere in the future.

You're already in it.

Use the paper. Pull out the good china. Burn the candle.

And maybe, just maybe, let an ordinary Tuesday be enough of an occasion.

🎙️ Life Beyond B.S. with Heather McNally

Learn more and connect with Heather at HeatherMcNally.com

If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need the reminder that they don’t have to wait for someday to start living the life they’re already in.

Have you ever replayed a conversation over and over, wondering what you did wrong? Or maybe you started composing the 17-paragraph text that would finally make someone understand where you were coming from?

What happens when someone misunderstands you, doesn't like a choice you've made, or decides that you're the bad guy in their story?

And what if, sometimes you actually WERE?

In this solo episode of Life Beyond B.S., Heather McNally explores being misunderstood, people pleasing, over-explaining, self-trust, accountability, boundaries, and our need for other people's approval.

Learning to stop caring what anyone thinks isn't the answer.

Sometimes we hurt people. Sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes an apology is necessary.

But someone else's hurt, disappointment, or interpretation of your behavior isn't automatic proof that you did something wrong.

So how do you know the difference?

Heather explores why two people can experience the same conversation completely differently, how our histories and belief systems shape the lens through which we see other people, and why genuine self-trust actually makes accountability easier.

You'll hear about:

• Why we become so afraid of being misunderstood
• The connection between people pleasing and over-explaining
• Why someone else's disappointment doesn't automatically mean you made the wrong choice
• Intention vs. impact
• Shame vs. accountability
• How to apologize without turning your apology into a defense
• Why changed behavior matters after an apology
• How to ask, “What's actually mine here?”
• Why compassion doesn't require agreement—or continued access
• How to stop letting other people's perceptions define you
• Why becoming more authentically yourself may actually make you less appealing to some people
• How to care enough to examine yourself without abandoning yourself

You don't need to make someone else wrong in order to move forward.

You also don't have to accept someone else's version of you simply because you're willing to examine your own.

You are responsible for your behavior. You are not responsible for every interpretation of your behavior.

And one question may change the way you think about all of it:

➡️If you knew you could survive being misunderstood, what would you stop explaining?

🎙️ Life Beyond B.S. with Heather McNally

Connect with Heather, explore coaching, speaking, programs and more:
https://heathermcnally.com

If this episode spoke to you, subscribe, follow, rate, review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it.

What if the stories shaping your life aren't actually the whole truth about who you are?

And what if healing isn't about becoming endlessly positive, but becoming honest enough to see what shaped you, question what you were taught, and choose what you want to carry forward?

In this episode of Life Beyond B.S., Heather McNally sits down with writer, evidential medium, spiritual guide, brand strategist, former social worker, and founder of the Authentically Aligned Collective Abby Mae for a raw conversation about childhood trauma, survival, identity, motherhood, authenticity, community, spirituality, and rewriting the stories through which we see ourselves.

Abby shares experiences from her childhood and her book, Through Her Eyes: A Child's Search for Safety, including growing up without consistent safety and how those experiences followed her into adulthood, relationships, motherhood, and the way she learned to trust herself and others.

Heather and Abby also get real about re-parenting ourselves, seeing our own wounds reflected through our children, taking responsibility when we get it wrong, and why personal growth doesn't mean we'll never be triggered again.

In this episode:

• How childhood experiences can shape adult patterns and relationships
• Hypervigilance, survival patterns, and learning to ask for help
• Re-parenting yourself while raising your own children
• Why healing and personal growth are ongoing—not a finish line
• Accountability, apologies, and repairing relationships
• Why comparing trauma doesn't help us heal
• The difference between positivity and toxic positivity
• Why healing can be messy, uncomfortable, and deeply human
• Authenticity versus performing who we think we're supposed to be
• How our experiences become the “lens” through which we see ourselves and the world
• Why community and genuine human connection matter
• Abby's vision for the Authentically Aligned Collective
• Rewriting your story without denying what actually happened
• Recognizing the belief systems you inherited—and choosing what you want to believe now

Abby reminds us that other people may have opinions about our lives and our stories, but we are the ones who lived them through our eyes.

And Heather and Abby explore one of the central ideas behind Life Beyond B.S.: awareness gives us the opportunity to recognize what we've been taught, question what no longer serves us, and choose differently.

Connect with Abby Mae:

Authentically Aligned: authentically-aligned.com
Re-Written / Collective information: rewritten.authentically-aligned.com
Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthenticallyAlignedCollective

TikTok: Authentically Aligned Collective

Instagram: Authentically Aligned Collective (_authenticallyaligned)

Connect with Heather McNally:

Explore coaching, programs, workshops, speaking, the Life Beyond B.S. podcast and more at HeatherMcNally.com

If this conversation speaks to you, please follow, subscribe, rate, review, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Your past may have shaped your lens. It doesn't have to decide what you choose to see next.

I’m Human: How to Give Yourself Grace Without Giving Up on Growth

What if being committed to personal growth doesn't mean you're supposed to get everything right?

We talk constantly about becoming more self-aware, trusting ourselves, setting boundaries, healing old patterns, making better choices, and becoming the person we want to be.

But what happens when you know better, and still get it wrong?

When you ignore your intuition.

Say yes when something inside you is screaming no.

Repeat a pattern you thought you'd outgrown.

Change your mind.

Make a mistake.

Have an emotional reaction.

Or realize that something - or someone - that once fit your life doesn't anymore.

In this solo episode of Life Beyond B.S., Heather McNally explores what it really means to give yourself grace for being human without using your humanity as an excuse to stop growing.

Because self-awareness isn't about becoming perfect.

It's about becoming curious enough to learn from yourself—and empowered enough to choose differently.

• Why personal growth doesn't have a graduation ceremony
• How to stop turning mistakes into evidence against yourself
• Why ignoring your intuition doesn't mean you've lost your self-trust
• The difference between “I have to choose” and “I get to choose”
• Why you're allowed to outgrow relationships, beliefs, roles, and versions of yourself
• What happens when your growth makes other people uncomfortable
• Why changing your mind isn't automatically inconsistency
• How vulnerability and privacy can exist at the same time
• Why two seemingly contradictory things can both be true
• The difference between giving yourself grace and avoiding accountability

• Why an apology without changed behavior eventually becomes noise
• How AI, perfectionism, and polished content can make us forget the value of being human
• Why growth isn't about perfection—it's about awareness, responsibility, repair, and choice

Giving yourself grace doesn't mean pretending your choices don't affect other people.

You can say:

“I'm human. I got that wrong.”

And still apologize.

Repair what you can.

Learn.

Take responsibility.

And choose differently next time.

That's not failure.

That's growth.

And maybe the goal was never to become a perfectly healed, perfectly self-aware human who never screws anything up again.

Maybe the goal is to become someone who can meet their imperfections with curiosity instead of judgment—and still hold themselves responsible for who they're becoming.

🎙️ Listen to Life Beyond B.S. wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.

Explore coaching, workshops, speaking, programs, podcast episodes, and free resources at:

HeatherMcNally.com

If this conversation resonates, follow or subscribe to Life Beyond B.S., leave a review, and share this episode with someone who may need permission to remember:

You're human. You're allowed to get it wrong. And you still have the power to choose what happens next.