Life Without Bookends

Life Without Bookends

By RavenSociety & CultureEducationSelf-ImprovementPersonal Journals
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Life Without Bookends episodes

  • The Gift of Winter and Holiday Lunacy

    The Gift of Winter and Holiday Lunacy

    The holiday season is already showing up in our conversations, along with autopilot social customs that have no awareness of who is on the other side. If you’re grieving, struggling, or simply don’t celebrate, being asked “What are you doing for the holidays?” can land hard. In this episode, Raven invites you to pause, notice what you actually want, and protect it. And to consider taking the always-asked questions off of autopilot.

    In this episode:

    - Why the automatic “What are you doing for the holidays?” question can feel intrusive, especially when it comes from someone you barely know
    - How holiday small talk assumes everyone celebrates, overlooking those who are grieving, those who don’t observe Thanksgiving or Christmas, or who have complicated feelings about them
    - How to separate the traditions you value from obligations you’ve inherited
    - Why honoring yourself and your needs may honor everyone, and why other people’s disappointment isn’t yours to carry

    Winter is naturally a time for quiet, reflection, and a break from the busyness of our working lives. Yet it's often filled with more doing.

    For your consideration: What do you want for yourself this year? And who needs to know?

    8 min
  • Living Uncoupled | a Man’s Perspective

    What happens when the script you’ve been following (meet, date, move in, marry, etc.) stops feeling like yours? I talked with Craig Wynne, author of "How to Be a Happy Bachelor," about how he came to a happily single life, the stereotypes single people face, and why friendship matters so much.

    In this episode:

    * Stepping off the “relationship escalator” and why single life deserves the same respect as marriage
    * How stereotypes land differently on single men and single women
    * Why friendships are worth tending, whatever your relationship status
    * The one vs. the ones: how singles often build wider networks and communities

    Craig’s closing advice: be happy with who you are, and don’t make romance the center of your life.

    Connect with Craig at https://thehappybachelor.org.

    32 min
  • Being Single in a Couple’s world

    Being Single in a Couple's World

    A conversation with Kathy Wasserlein.

    Being truly content as a single woman shouldn't seem like a big deal, but it does seem to be. Not because it's inherently a problem, but due to the social constructs within which being married, or partnered, is seen as a pinnacle of life success. And preferred.

    Kathy's spirit and clarity are infectious.

    Questions posed and answered, by both of us:

    - How long did it take to settle into your life as a single woman, not as a circumstance, but a status you embraced?
    - Some people say that those of us who are committedly single have closed our hearts to love. What do you say to them?
    - What have you noticed about how couples treat or perceive you? Either subtly or outright?
    - What do you say to people who assume that being single is harder as you get older?
    - What has been the most surprising discovery about being single?

    ====

    Single by choice, by circumstance, or still figuring out which... May this episode encourage you.
    If you know a woman who needs to hear this, please share. And, if it's you, I'd love to hear from you.
    https://thisravensview.com

    33 min
  • Ditching the Weekend Script
    Ditching the Weekend Script. This episode is about weekends and our orientation around them…when married, when divorced. Finding your own rhythm.
    8 min
  • Ditching the Weekend Script

    Ditching the Weekend Script: On the Unspoken Divide Between Couples and Everyone Else

    This episode is about weekends and our orientation around them. And, what happens when you stop trying to outrun the discomfort of 'nothing to do' and no one to play with.

    If you're not part of a couple or family ... anymore... you can find yourself feeling lost, like you're floating in a sea of dread without anything or anyone to anchor you.

    In this episode:

    * Why weekends can feel heavier than weekdays when you're single

    * The cultural script around weekend plans and the mechanical expectations
    * What actually shifts the discomfort (hint: it's not distraction)
    * Finding your own rhythm when the coupled world has a different one.

    If you've broken the weekend spell, I'd love to hear. And if you'ready to, and would like support, reach out.

    Raven @ thisravensview dot com, or DM/comment wherever you listened.

    8 min
  • She Was Supposed to be a Good Girl
    She Was Supposed to Be a Good Girl… Breaking with Tradition
    Shedding the Expected Roles and Finding Herself, a conversation with Gladys Morales
    I met Gladys at 1 Million Cups in Albuquerque, and we hit it off right away. She's a professional motivational speaker and storyteller who transforms life unexpected disruptions into stories of courage,  connection, and possibility.
    After cancer and significant vision loss, and a life that refused to follow the expected script, she discovered that resilience is not about returning to who you were.  It's about it's about discovering who you can become.
    To which I say, yes!
    Born into Native and Hispanic cultures, Gladys quickly discovered that she didn't fit the mold of the traditions of her people. It started in childhood, not as a conscious rebellion, but by noticing her preference for pants and t-shirts over frilly dresses. And for sports and outdoor activities.
    At the same time, her heritage never left her. She straddles both worlds - her life as an independent women alongside a strong connection to her ancestors, including her grandmother who raised her.
    Breaking with the Tribe, Breaking with Tradition
    When I use the word "tribe" it's both literal and generic. Tribe points to any organized group or culture where, "This is how we do things - and how we don't" - dominates. For example, your family system, your religious upbringing, or any group where agreed upon beliefs keep behavoir and life choices in check.
    But, what if it's not your path? What if you're the one meant to break away?
    In this episode we talked about:
    The questions her break from the cultural traditions of her tribe gave rise to: Who am I, who am I really...and how the quest led Gladys to explore her Aztec heritage.
    What it has meant to root herself into her real essence, not the person that she was told she should be. From 'good girl' to sovereign as herself.
    The role of her father, and her grandmother (who she calls 'Mom') in her life, a thread that continues to this day.
    The cost of breaking away... of not being a part of everyday family gatherings and memories.
    And the gift; not being in a toxic environment...and finding herself.
    With keen understanding and articulation, Gladys models what it is to love fiercely, see clearly (without eyesight), and to turn her challenges into inspiration for others. You can reach Gladys at MoralesSpeaks.com.
    38 min
  • The 10% Rule – And Other Money Myths

    Raven talks about some of the money ‘rules’ that many wealth 'gurus' hand down like gospel. And the way these rules often stop people from doing anything. For example, if you don't have the 10% to put aside each month to 'go to work for you,' what then?

    She shares from her own experience and points to something most financial guidance doesn’t account for: the stress that the continual pursuit of more creates.

    - How she finally dealt with her debt - and the strange fear she exprerienced at the thought of zero debt.

    - How money apps can hide what we don’t want to face.

    8 min
  • The Pressure to Prove

    The Pressure to Prove, or Improve. Who said you should?

    What if the words we use every day are shaping decisions we think we're making freely?

    In this episode of Life without Bookends, Raven explores two of the most loaded words in our cultural vocabulary: prove and improve. She unpacks the difference between improving your skills and improving your being, what it costs us in our bodies and our decisions to live as if we're not yet enough, and what becomes possible when we stop performing for approval and start trusting the path that was always ours.

    This episode connects to Raven's card deck, Who Said You Should? Free Yourself from the Rules and Roles that Bind. Learn more at https://shedyourshoulds.com.

    8 min
  • Bye-Bye Corporate

    In this episode, Bye-Bye Corporate, I talked with Deborah Stephenson about what it was like to leave her corporate career after 40 years, not to retire, but to start something new.

    Said Deborah about approaching the decision moment:


    "And so it was a really, really frightening, awful moment at that time because ... I felt pretty trapped at that point because I was like, at my age, if I leave here, I'm going have a difficult time finding another job. And it's probably going to be the same job. It's just a different company. So I knew that was probably not the right solution either. That was more than a year, almost a year of that kind of feeling of I have to do something different, I have to do something different."

    We talked about:

    * How she decided and what it was like after she took the leap.
    * Trial and error – what it’s really like to start a business from scratch. The fun, the challenges and the ‘oops’ moments.
    * Accounting for money during the transition.
    And more…

    If you're sitting on the fence this conversation is for you.

    ===========

    You can learn more about and connect with Deborah on LinkedIn.

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborah-stephenson/

    If you would like to look at the impact on your money, consider The Money Map for essential decisions and adjustments.

    https://thisravensview.com/the-money-map/

    26 min
  • On Resistance and Procrastination

    On Resistance and Procrastination: Intelligence or Something to Overcome?

    Life is perfect sometimes. I planned a different episode and recorded it 3 times only to realize it wasn't happening. Either the time for it was off, or it's not meant for me to record. Some things are simply 'good ideas' with no energy to back them up.

    Resistance and procrastination are only problematic when we're fixated on the plan - the timeline and goals. Otherwise, I assert that there IS an intelligence worth paying attention to.

    I wonder what your experience is with these 2 words? When you notice yourself feeling resistance, or putting something off - aka 'procrastinating' - do you push through, or do you get curious?

    ====

    This is the work of unraveling the rules and expectations we've inherited about how life is supposed to go. If something here is landing for you, I'd love to continue the conversation. Visit me at thisravensview.com.

    5 min

About Life Without Bookends

From the publisher's feed

Life without Bookends is for women navigating those moments when life changes in ways we did not expect. When a relationship ends, when a beloved career crumbles, or something in us wakes up one day…