What happens when harm comes from someone you expected to feel safest with? When your shared identity becomes the very weapon used against you? In this final Listener Letter, Jay shares the story of his short-lived “dream job” under a charismatic Black female founder known for championing diversity. Within seven weeks, the role left him emotionally broken, suicidal, and doubting his sense of masculinity and identity.

This episode explores what it means to experience narcissistic abuse from within your own community, and the devastating effects of progressive language being used as a smokescreen for harm. It also examines the psychological toll of trying to be the “good man” in environments that punish gentleness, humility or empathy.

Expert Insight

Clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani offers compassionate, trauma-informed insight into:

• Why people weaponise identity (race, gender, power) to protect their image while abusing others behind the scenes
• The masculinity myth: how society and workplaces distort what it means to be a "good man"
• How guilt can be used to silence victims within communities
• Why shared identity does not guarantee shared values or safety
• Practical recovery tools: journaling for validation, therapeutic support, and radical self-trust

Key themes

• Weaponised Identity: When race, gender, and progressiveness are used to shield toxic behaviour
• Progressive Abuse: The dissonance between public values and private actions
• Community Guilt: The fear of being disloyal by calling out harm from someone within your community
• Masculinity & Vulnerability: How “being a good man” can become a survival strategy and how it’s exploited
• Emotional Fallout: From humiliation and burnout to suicidal ideation and therapy
• Rebuilding Self-Worth: How to regain confidence after gaslighting, betrayal, and shame

Why this episode matters

This episode goes where many don’t: into the deeply taboo topic of harm within marginalised communities, and the confusion, grief, and guilt that comes with it. Jay’s story asks difficult questions about complicity, silence, and who deserves protection. It’s also a powerful exploration of how Black men, in particular, are pressured to soften themselves in professional settings, only to be punished, dismissed, or manipulated.

Bonus episodes

Listener Letters are real stories submitted by the Other Box community, sharing lived experiences of navigating toxic workplaces and narcissistic dynamics. Each letter is anonymised, read aloud, and followed by expert insight from clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani. Together, we unpack the behavioural patterns at play and share tools for clarity, support and recovery.

We hope these real-life accounts allow you to recognise the signs sooner and start focusing on how to reclaim your life. 

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox) 

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources. 

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.