Failure! You know it. We know it. Literature knows it. Think Percy Bysshe Shelley. Think Geoff Dyer. Think Thomas Chatterton. Think DBC Pierre. Think George Gissing. Think Laurence Sterne. Think John Milton—as sports people Stateside say— “fumbling the ball”. Curious phrase! And then, after all that, think Jane Austen, eating ice-cream with a wooden spoon, in bed on a Tuesday afternoon, listening to FiveLive. Actually that sounds rather nice. Pass the tutti frutti, Cassandra!