Ahoy, you homeless barrel-wearers, it’s your Unaccredited Australians, Amber and Gabe, with some hot investment advice. Are you tired of losing your money in crypto? Of course you are! Might we suggest investing your baby’s food money in GOAT! Yes, GOAT! Just look at this testimonial episode from Bronson here as he discovers the amazing ROI of GOAT, a 200% gain! Sure, all you have to do is claw through its faeces like an OCD fetishist, but it’s that or actual fetish work, so get to pinching. Are cockatoo miracles more stable than electric money? Does Bronson count as a pump-n-dump? What’s up with that police officer? All this and letters from the flyswatter detritus we call fans.