As Jack Allison awaits the tour group, he remembers swaggering on a circular stage just a few nights prior, surrounded. A crowd of thousands at his fore and aft. At 5’5 ½, he was a small boat making big waves.

Jack also remembers the conversation he had with his manager, Van, in the greenroom later that same night.

“Jack, listen to me, you're a star. You can't quit. Besides, the people love you!”

“They don’t love me, they don’t even know me! All they want is the bit. I’m sick of the bit, Van. I wanna do new stuff.”

“Jack, you’re not being fair.”

“Fair? You know I had a guy come up to me today, quoted the whole damn thing. Right in front of me and my family. He was 5’9! That’s fucked up Van!” And at that moment Jack recalled the encounter, he was enjoying a light brunch with his beautiful partner Cait, and their dog Kenny. Jack had just slipped a fluffy piece of crepe to Kenny under the bench, who lapped it up greedily.

Their three sets of eyes then looked up as an ordinary-looking man approached their table.

“Jack Allison?” Exclaimed the man. “Bro I love you man, you’re so fucking funny dude! Can I get a pic?” Feeling ambushed yet flattered, Jack allowed the man to take several selfie shots with him, stretching his mouth into a grin he didn’t quite feel. “Thanks bro! I’m a big fan. Mind if I take a video too, real quick?”

“I..don’t see why not.” said Jack.

“Awesome and can you do the bit? I’m recording for TikTok.”

“I don’t..”

“You don’t know your own bit dude? Come on!” And then the man proceeded to do it for him mimicking Jack’s stage presence to the best of his limited ability. “There’s a civil war going on between short guys and there are two sides: there’s Little Guys and Short Kings-!”

“Something you gotta learn Jack?” said Van back in the greenroom. “As an entertainer, regardless of industry, your fans? Morons. Can’t do anything about that, but what we can do is look about getting you some security. I know a few—”

“Look, Van you’re doing right by me, I know that. And maybe I’m just speaking hyperbolically. What I’m trying to say is, I need some time off, to get away from it all for a bit, get back in touch with my roots as a short guy.”

Van sighed. “Your roots? Okay big guy, just...Just don’t take long, clocks ticking yeah?”

“Yeah,” said Jack and the two of them turned a handshake into a hug. “Good luck buddy,” said Van.

“Here for the tour?” says a young accented woman, this startles Jack as he’s suddenly knocked out of his reveries.

“Uh yeah,” He hands her his ticket. She inspects and hands it back.

"Right this way,” she tells him and he follows her into a small nearby crowd of what seem like fellow tourists.

“Welcome to New Zealand!” She shouts above the crowd of tourists as she makes her way to a small makeshift stage where two other individuals stand. “We’re pleased to have you along as we tour all of the locations used for Hobbiton, in the Peter Jackson directed Lord of The Rings trilogy and Hobbit films.”

As the woman speaks, Jack thinks to himself, Now This...This is exactly where I need to be.

Topics discussed on today’s show include: Little Guys Rise Up!, Linsanity and Sara June!

Airdate: 06/21/21 - https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1063003316(edited)