Are you sad because you can’t get yourself a delicious batch of chalky candy hearts this Valentine’s Day? Well your pal Jake Malort has you covered! That’s right, it’s Jake Malort’s Candy Horts (legally he’s been barred from using any body parts in ads for his products… don’t ask). We’ve got multicolored horts with romantic sayings like “Why Not?”, “UR Cousin is Cute” & “I’m Disease Free” .