The other day, a series of dawning realizations made me see that I didn’t actually know how to meet myself and my emotions.

Not how to understand myself.
Not how to heal myself.
But how to be with myself…when something uncomfortable is here.

What opened from that realization was a wave of grief and relief at the same time (what I ended up calling grieflief). Grief for the years I spent functioning, fixing, reframing, and moving past my feelings. And relief in discovering that my heart was never gone, it had just been hibernating.

In this episode, I speak from inside that moment.

About believing I was a robot.
About my heart thawing. 

About feeling like Pinocchio, nervous system safety, unmet relational needs, and what it’s like to feel yourself come back online.

If you’ve ever felt numb, overly strong, highly functional, disconnected, or like you move too quickly past what you feel…this is a gentle place to land.

Love,
Lila