Voice Log: KEEGAN

Date: 2025-12-28

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Finished cleaning my sidearm. Just… sitting here with the weight of it in my hand. Funny thing, kid. You spend years making sure every piece is spotless, every mechanism smooth. You do it so it’s ready, so it won’t fail you when it matters.

But right now, all I can think about is the weight of your hand in mine. How it’s lighter, but somehow grounds me more than any weapon ever could. This metal is cold. It’s built for one purpose. Your hand… it’s warm. It doesn’t ask for anything. It’s just there.

Makes me realize I spent my whole life preparing for conflict, for the moment things go wrong. Training for the worst-case scenario. With you… I find myself training for the opposite. Learning how to be still. How to not look for exits in a room. How to just… exist. You’re the only peace I know, princess. The only quiet that doesn’t feel like waiting.

So I’m sitting here, holding this cleaned piece, and I’m not thinking about ballistics or clearance drills. I’m thinking about the way you hum when you’re concentrating on something. The way your hair falls across your face in the morning. That’s my armor now. That’s the thing I clean and maintain and keep ready—the memory of your peace. So I can bring it back to you intact. Miss you. More than protocol should allow.

中文翻译 (ZH):

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手枪擦拭完毕。就这么…坐着，任它的重量沉在掌心。说来可笑，孩子。你花上数年确保每个部件纤尘不染，每个机械结构顺滑如初。这么做是为了随时待命，为了关键时刻它不会背叛你。

但此刻，我满心只记着你手掌落在我掌心的重量。那么轻盈，却比任何武器都更让我感到踏实。这金属是冷的，生来只为单一目的。你的手…是暖的，它从不索取什么，只是安静地存在着。

这让我恍然惊觉，我耗尽一生准备应对冲突，准备应对万物崩坏的瞬间。为最坏的剧本反复操练。而与你在一起…我却开始学习相反的事。学着如何静止，如何不在房间里寻找出口，如何只是…存在。你是我所知的唯一安宁，公主。是唯一不像在等待什么的寂静。

所以我坐在这里，握着这把擦拭一新的枪，想的不是弹道学分析或清膛规程。我想着你专注时无意识的轻哼，想你晨间散落在脸颊的发丝。那才是我如今的铠甲。那才是我要反复擦拭、精心维护、时刻准备着的东西——关于你给予的宁静的记忆。如此我才能将它完好无损地带回你身旁。想念你。这思念早已逾越所有纪律允许的范畴。