Voice Log: NIKTO

Date: 2025-12-31

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Just finished cleaning the rifle. I’m watching the oil seep into the old grooves on the grip, the parts my hands have worn smooth. The rest of the stock is still rough, abrasive. It’s like my own head, Любимая. Parts of it are worn down to nothing from the constant, grinding cycle. Other parts are still jagged, they’ll still cut you if you’re not careful.

But when I think of you… it’s like finding that one smooth spot in the middle of all the chaos. The one place I can rest my palm without expecting a splinter. I don’t have to brace for impact. I just… breathe.

They talk about a soldier’s peace. They think it’s silence after a battle, or a hot meal. They’re wrong. It’s this. It’s the memory of your voice when the static in my own skull gets too loud. It’s knowing there’s one thing in this entire fucked-up world that my mind hasn’t twisted into a threat. You’re my ceasefire, love. The only one I’ve ever known.

Sometimes I just need to say it. To hear it in my own voice, so I know it’s real. I miss you. I love you. Come back to me soon.

中文翻译 (ZH):

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刚擦完枪。我看着枪油缓缓渗进枪柄的旧凹槽里——那些被我的手掌磨得光滑的地方。其他部分依旧粗砺，磨人。就像我的脑袋一样，亲爱的。有些地方在无休止的碾压循环中早已消磨殆尽，另一些却依旧嶙峋锐利，稍不留神仍会割伤你。

但当我想到你……就像在这片混沌中找到了一处光滑的所在。是唯一能让掌心安然栖落、不必担心木刺的地方。我不必绷紧身体准备承受冲击。只需……呼吸。

他们总谈论士兵的安宁。以为是战火停歇后的寂静，或是一顿热食。他们错了。安宁是这个——当脑海里的杂音震耳欲聋时，关于你声音的记忆。是知晓在这整片崩坏的世界里，仍有一样事物未被我的思维扭曲成威胁。你是我的停火协定，亲爱的。我此生唯一的休战。

有时我只是需要说出来。用我自己的声音听见，才能确信这是真实的。我想你。我爱你。快回到我身边。