Loneliness of False Leadership | Parables from the Pit | Ep 014

Welcome to the Warrior Week podcast with your host Coach Sam Falsafi. This week Sam welcomes guest Sebastian Huynh - the man who never belonged anywhere. They discuss his colorful and diverse background, explore racism, reveal the deep pain and isolation Sebastian has experienced in his life, delve into the world of drugs, prison, gangs and the Mexican mafia, share his unique spiritual journey and his jolting wake up call in the depths of the Pit at Warrior Week. Parable #1: Identity and Purpose Sebastian came to America with his German Catholic step father and began attending Catholic school as the only non white, non German student. Through the years he tested every religion as he sought for deeper meaning and purpose in life. He experienced Atheism for a season where he was angry at God: Fuck God. If there is a God, why didn’t he give me a dad? Why did I have multiple step fathers? Why am I always a minority? While in prison, he found his home in Christianity. QUESTION: What is the pain from Sebastian that resonates with you? Parable #2: Cultural Separation Sebastian had always been a natural leader until he became a Christian. For many seasons he became the student: "I had too much shame, guilt and dirt. I hid out and didn’t go to church because that’s what white people did. Asians? We're supposed to go to a Buddhist temple." Coach Sam: There is a separation between cultures that we cannot deny. We might be raising our children in a multicultural environment, yet cultures tend to stay within their own circles and not allow ‘outsiders’ in. You might be welcomed on the surface as a friend, but it is a false welcome because you will never be fully accepted within that circle. QUESTION: Where in your life have you experienced this false welcome - as a recipient or as a contributor? Parable #3: Who Is Modeling Manhood For Your Sons? Sebastian: I was lonely. I was being groomed for manhood by the mafia whose story was: men are powerful and they don't cry.  They were modeling drinking, drugs, sex and violence, so that is what I practiced. Violence became my signature, especially violence with knives. I went to prison because I stabbed three men. Coach Sam: If you are listening to this and you have a teenage son, and you're sensing that some shit is going on with a gang or organized crime, or who you feel is on the path of associating manhood with drugs, alcohol and sex - I would have you consider that you have not led him to a place where he can feel that he is being led towards being a man. You must lead your sons from a place of truth. QUESTION: What are you hearing that is piercing your heart? Parable #4: Obstacles Removed By the Bigger Hand The night Sebastian found God in prison was a turning point for him. He was facing 66 years to life when a miraculous turn of events started happening. One by one, life altering obstacles were being removed by this "bigger hand." At the time he thought he had just gotten lucky, but looking back from where he is today, he knows and recognizes it as the bigger hand of God. As the only white person in his Bible study groups, Sebastian was thirsting to know as much as he could about God. He was working three jobs and attending several bible study groups when the pastor asked him about attending Bible College. Sebastian had never heard about Bible College, and through a series of miraculous events, he received a full scholarship and eventually became a pastor.  QUESTION: Where in your life have you witnessed the miracles of "the bigger hand?" Parable #5: Circle of Trust Coach Sam: You came into Warrior Week. It was a process but there is also a beautiful friendship that has grown between all of us. For the first time we have this circle of trust, a feeling of belonging. Sebastian: It’s the most authentic version I have been searching for my whole life: the true acceptance of another man. I didn’t have to sell drugs to you, I didn’t have to hurt anybody for you, I didn’t have to kiss your ass; it was because you said “you work on yourself, you lead yourself” while you were leading yourself. That was the first time I had brothers accepting me without me having to do shit for them. QUESTION: Do you have a circle of trust? Who is in it?   Parable from the Pit: "Out of all you experience in your life, the greatest pain comes from wearing a mask. Wearing a mask complete fucking isolates you where you feel alone. This is not a social aloneness. It's hell on fucking earth. It’s the biggest pain for men in society today where they are living and operating alone in the space of wearing a gdamn mask and saying ‘everything is fine.” -- Coach Sam Falsafi   "I’m not looking for another man to be my savior, I’m leading myself and taking 100% responsibility for the direction I am leading my family. I hunt every day for my purpose. Here’s the truth: Once I lead myself, I can lead others. --Sebastian Huynh