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Lonely or Just Alone? How to Know the Difference (and What to Do About It)
This week, Jonathan and Dr. Mark jump into one of the most confusing parts of emotional health: Why you feel lonely, why being alone isn’t the same thing as loneliness, and why solitude might actually be the thing your mind has been avoiding… but your soul desperately needs.
But first—an update.
Mark shares the story of how a simple relay race (yes, a relay race) turned into a blown Achilles and a forced season of slowing down. That honest moment becomes a doorway into today’s topic: how life has a way of pushing us into unwanted stillness… and how we can learn from it instead of fighting it.
From freak accidents to Final Destination-level childhood stories to the difference between doom-scrolling and actual solitude, this episode stays practical, relatable, and real.
🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
The state of being vs. the state of feeling lonely
Why hopelessness sneaks up on you before you notice it
How to know whether you need people or space
The difference between reflection vs. rumination
Why scrolling doesn't count as “alone time”
How to build healthy solitude without shutting the world out
How to identify the inputs that drain you
- How to recharge before life derails you
🔧 Practical Takeaways (Made Simple)
Pause before reacting: Ask “Do I need connection or do I need space?”
Learn your emotional battery: Irritability, procrastination, missed deadlines, overreacting—those can all be loneliness signals.
Use solitude for truth, not punishment:
Reflection asks: “What’s true?”
Rumination asks: “What’s wrong with me?”
Build micro-solitude: Be present on a walk, doing dishes, or sitting outside without constant distraction.
Check your inputs: More screen time ≠ more rest. Doom scrolling isn’t solitude.
- Community isn’t always local: Sometimes your people live across time zones and screens—and that still counts.
💬 A Line to Remember
“Loneliness will drain you. Solitude, when you choose it, will refill you.”
🌐 Resources + Connect with Us
This episode is designed to help simplify your mental health journey and give you language for what you’re feeling.
Explore tools, resources, and upcoming content at:
www.MentalHealthMadeSimple.life
⚠️ Important Disclaimer
Mental Health Made Simple is hosted by Dr. Mark Mayfield, a licensed clinician, and Jonathan Collier, a practitioner who speaks from lived experience.
This podcast is for education and support only. It is not therapy, it is not a diagnosis, and it does not replace working with a licensed mental health professional.
Therapy is valuable and often essential. If you’re struggling, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a therapist in your area.
If you’re in crisis, thinking about harming yourself, or don’t feel safe:
Contact your local emergency number or crisis hotline immediately.
If you need help finding a therapist, reach out to us at
www.MentalHealthMadeSimple.life and we’ll help you explore next steps.
⭐ If This Episode Helped You…
Please take 10 seconds to:✔ Rate the podcast✔ Leave a quick review✔ Share the episode with a friend
Your support helps us reach more people who need simple, honest mental health clarity.
View all episodes
By Dr. Mark Mayfield | Jonathan CollierThis week, Jonathan and Dr. Mark jump into one of the most confusing parts of emotional health: Why you feel lonely, why being alone isn’t the same thing as loneliness, and why solitude might actually be the thing your mind has been avoiding… but your soul desperately needs.
But first—an update.
Mark shares the story of how a simple relay race (yes, a relay race) turned into a blown Achilles and a forced season of slowing down. That honest moment becomes a doorway into today’s topic: how life has a way of pushing us into unwanted stillness… and how we can learn from it instead of fighting it.
From freak accidents to Final Destination-level childhood stories to the difference between doom-scrolling and actual solitude, this episode stays practical, relatable, and real.
🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
The state of being vs. the state of feeling lonely
Why hopelessness sneaks up on you before you notice it
How to know whether you need people or space
The difference between reflection vs. rumination
Why scrolling doesn't count as “alone time”
How to build healthy solitude without shutting the world out
How to identify the inputs that drain you
- How to recharge before life derails you
🔧 Practical Takeaways (Made Simple)
Pause before reacting: Ask “Do I need connection or do I need space?”
Learn your emotional battery: Irritability, procrastination, missed deadlines, overreacting—those can all be loneliness signals.
Use solitude for truth, not punishment:
Reflection asks: “What’s true?”
Rumination asks: “What’s wrong with me?”
Build micro-solitude: Be present on a walk, doing dishes, or sitting outside without constant distraction.
Check your inputs: More screen time ≠ more rest. Doom scrolling isn’t solitude.
- Community isn’t always local: Sometimes your people live across time zones and screens—and that still counts.
💬 A Line to Remember
“Loneliness will drain you. Solitude, when you choose it, will refill you.”
🌐 Resources + Connect with Us
This episode is designed to help simplify your mental health journey and give you language for what you’re feeling.
Explore tools, resources, and upcoming content at:
www.MentalHealthMadeSimple.life
⚠️ Important Disclaimer
Mental Health Made Simple is hosted by Dr. Mark Mayfield, a licensed clinician, and Jonathan Collier, a practitioner who speaks from lived experience.
This podcast is for education and support only. It is not therapy, it is not a diagnosis, and it does not replace working with a licensed mental health professional.
Therapy is valuable and often essential. If you’re struggling, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a therapist in your area.
If you’re in crisis, thinking about harming yourself, or don’t feel safe:
Contact your local emergency number or crisis hotline immediately.
If you need help finding a therapist, reach out to us at
www.MentalHealthMadeSimple.life and we’ll help you explore next steps.
⭐ If This Episode Helped You…
Please take 10 seconds to:✔ Rate the podcast✔ Leave a quick review✔ Share the episode with a friend
Your support helps us reach more people who need simple, honest mental health clarity.