Some podcasts really throw everything at their Christmas episode, pulling out all the stops to bring you sonic delights, festive whimsy and yuletide editing all bullet-sharp and pin-point. We didn't. We knocked this out in about five minutes then we naffed off down the boozer like MEN. Cos it's Christmas, yeah? It's Christmas. It's all about going to the pub and drinking beer. It's what Jesus would have wanted.

Those are not MY words. They are the words, in fact, of BBC Television's top pink-skinned fury-bollock Phil Mitchell.

What do you mean, you're too young to remember EastEnders? Oh, get knotted.

Have a mince pie. Jingle jingle. Xx

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