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Looting is Good Actually


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Noah looked off into the distance, surveying the landscape. The storm clouds overhead were dark and bulging, making Noah's white beard appear gray. He stood next to one of his sons Shen, while his other progeny saw to the preparations of the vessel, A mighty Ark that was the most impressive wonder of divine-inspired engineering the world had ever known. It was situated behind Noah and Shen, propped up by two massive mounds of clay. There was a wooden incline several hundred meters in length, that descended from it’s hull to the ground. The incline had seen very much use over the past few weeks, and with the arrival of the female and male elephants, it’s work was almost at an end. “Take a good look Shen.” Said Noah, “this will be the last time in history anyone will get to see the world as it is now. We’ve gathered the animals and soon the rains will…” Noah trailed off as he saw two figures bound toward them. “Hey! HEY!” One of the figures called and Noah swore under his breath at the sound. Somewhere nearby a crack of thunder roared its disapproval. “Sorry…” Noah muttered.
“Hey man what the fuck?” Said one figure “Yeah man what about us?” said the other. Up close Noah and Shen could see the two figures before them were the male and female versions of a different type of animal.
“Officers!” Noah exclaimed, backing away slowly as he spoke, “How nice to see you..” He cleared his throat and paused pointedly before continuing, “Well you see uh...” Noah cleared his throat louder this time and Shen jumped as if suddenly pricked on the backside, he grabbed the reins of the final pair of animals, (two donkeys) and hustled up the wooden incline motioning his brothers to follow suit. “You know God?” Noah continued, he was several yards away now, and his tone was high pitched and dry, “He’s uh...he’s a tricky guy haha... c’mon you know what he’s like it’s—” Before shock could be registered on the police officer’s faces, Noah had spun around and was already halfway up the wooden incline, “Go! Go! Go!” he hollered to his sons as he neared the top, who put all of their strength and speed into cranking the wooden incline back into the ships hull, which disappeared with a hollow boom, as the recess it came out of slid shut. The police officers could do nothing but stare as various shutters and doors and barriers were clicked down and secured as if by magic. In a matter of seconds the ark appeared smooth and in one piece like a massive wooden banana. Shortly thereafter, the rains came.
Topics Discussed on Today's Episode: Abolish The Police.
Episode originally aired — 5/28/20 — Vod Link: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/634459891
Donate to the Minnesota Freedom Fund: https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate
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