Where did your story start? Before you discovered that self-love was important.

I grew up in a very family business-oriented family entered Nero family, my dad was a second-generation business owner and his family and my mom stayed home with myself and then my three younger siblings, probably in high school, I kinda took some left turns, when he and I were not saying I do. I, about a lot of things as you do when you start creating your independence.

I went to college, I went to school to be a stage manager, in New York, and then realized I did not want to work with actors.

What I actually wanted to do was help people moving through the emotional transition of things. So after a couple of years, I got my BS degree in Family Studies, and then instead of going into social work, I thought I would I actually ended up going entrepreneurship myself, I started with a direct sales company.

II started listening to  personal development speakers it and I just, I was a sponge. Give me more, give me more! obsessively listening to the next one, the next one, this is when we had CDs, in the car, we are listening to CDs that you had to plug in and pull back out. And I really became obsessed with being more productive, more efficient, more valuable, to the people around me.

It wasn't until 2014 that I really started to look around. Go okay. I love what I'm doing to a degree, I don't love selling products, but I love working with people in the capacity in working with that was a sexual health and wellness educator for those 13 years in direct sales.

It's helping women talk about their bodies on a regular basis and helping them break down some of the rules, they've had handed to them from generation after generation about what's okay, what's not okay, what body parts are okay, or body parts, are not okay, what should they all be who likes them, and how much and all of these things that come with physical intimacy. But we are having a lot of emotional conversations about this. Well, so I was well-versed in loving your body and being aware and edge the clinical side of things, all of that.

In 2014, when I started getting these days of flu-like symptoms, but no actual fever nobody could tell us what was going on. I was going to doctor after doctor, 'cause it would happen for 10 days and I'd be okay for a couple of days and then it would happen again.

And so it was just this weird cycle and I, I was canceling party presentations that I was making money for my family, I was not able to do meetings for my team, and now I was getting distraught because this is something that my entire families household income was based on this, and I'd spent 13 years building this and I realized I wanted to start coaching outside of the team. And outside of the consultants or the clients I had and so, residing in that direction, but it was too late and my body was just shutting down.

The first thing was a food sensitivity test, I figured out that soy was mine, archons. If it had even a drop of soy was laid out for a week to sometimes two weeks, sometimes a month. And so I started developing this really huge fear of food.

We had to cook all my meals at home, and I was traveling a lot 'cause I was a corporate trainer, for the corporate office, as well. taking big, huge coolers with me everywhere I go because I was so scared that someone would not take this seriously 'cause it wasn't technically an allergy I wasn't gonna have an anyplace reaction and my reaction took 72 hours to kick in, so that's why it took so long for us to figure out what it was because I couldn't I was tracking things, but nothing in this 24 hours was consistent, it was three days later. So, anyway, through that process, I started developing the teeter around, food, and then when the symptoms started kicking in again, about six months later, I was like, What is going on. I'm not eating any soil I'm making my own food.

And we figured out there was another sensitivity, but really what it was is my immune system was breaking down because for so long, my body was whispering to me, that it needed attention. I was tired all the time I needed caffeine constantly, the Stat Way to do anything, even I would be up late doing parties but I'd be sleeping if I needed to in the marked by kids were super little, still and I would still need a nap. Aida and I were dragging so my body was giving me all these signals.

In hindsight, I can see that.

Well, at in the moment, I just saw it as an annoying obstacle for me to be able to keep going, keep working because I had developed this really intense work addiction where that was the only way I felt valuable is if I was constantly producing money producing an impact on other people, and that this lack of what I needed was deep. It was a huge canon of... That's an E-a conversation. I'm not even gonna have the conversation, but what I want or what I need.

And so really, that's kind of where that began, that journey of leaving that life behind, and really redesigning over the last six years where my life is going and where it has been.

JENN:

There are so many things to unpack there with the... And the money and associates that you need to be working to be worthy. What was that like? What moment di you realize this has to change right now, 'cause I can't go further.

TASHA:

I was thinking about it before when you started talking today 'cause I haven't thought about this time in my life, in a while, because I have one I had spent later on in my journey, I spend about 18 months in bed where I couldn't do anything and I spend a lot of time. There was 18 months. Just really dissecting like you said, unpacking all these years of the choices I was making, so when I knew that even when I got the list of food sensitivities and then we saw some other things that the hormonal and balances and then we saw some of... Like these little areas that after 15 years, 20 years of really abusing your systems, there's more than one problem, right? There's always more than one problem I into when you've avoided it for that long.

So we started uncovering these pieces. And I'm like, "I'm so broken.

How am I going to work and do all this? That was my thought, not how am I going to heal how am I going to love my kids, "How am I gonna work if I am breaking?

And it wasn't until probably a year and a half later, I mean a solid 18 months later maybe two years even where I was pushing and pushing it, and pushing even after the this, the long period of having literally sometimes a month completely out of commission, that I was lying in bed, I was so used to go to our annual convention and I couldn't fly I couldn't drive, I just, there was no way that I could handle that much simulation we I was wishing so I decided that instead of going, "I would be glued to my computer and watch the entire thing because they do a lot of live streams and I would just work my butt off while they're there, so I could still work and still show up.

I was lying in bed and my husband came up, and he's been amazing. Then, the whole thing brought me food and was do T, what do you need? My hands, couldn't type.

They started acting up and down my arms and into my hands, and my joints in my fingers and I couldn't type and I just melted down, because it was literally my body saying you need to stop.

The last thing that I tried to do was type and it would not let me do it, and I'm like, I can't do anything and he's like, "That's okay, you need to rest, I can't rest I hate to work. And that's when I knew, this is bad, this is bad, that I am pushing so hard still, even with all the evidence, all of the clear as day evidence that I had that I still was willing to put all of that at risk, all of my family and my health long term, at risk because I needed to work and my body.

I said, "You're done. And that's when I knew, this is deeper than just having some foods in certifies is deeper than just having a hormonal imbalance and that's really when I started to detect it and it always is deeper. There's always that surface-level thing, but it's not till you work with those crazy shadows that hang out.

It is nineteen, for sure.

JENN:

So, after that moment, what did you do to start changing that?  How did you start that journey?

TASHA:

Well, I had really, for me it was a lack of spirituality for those 15 years, just a lack of... I leaned really hard into the logical side of life.

This makes sense, this is the science, this is the data, this is sex and a lot of that's based and rooted in my childhood, I was gas lit a lot when I was little. And as a teenager, and so in that when you're that age, and you are being told what you know to be true, what you saw with your eyes, or to her with your ears is not true. You've developed this need and in this mechanism to constantly factually produce information because you need to see for your eyes and have someone... We'll see it invalidate that. Yes, that did actually happen. Yes, that is true.

And so that was my... What I leaned on and when no matter what evidence was in front of me, I still wasn't getting better, I realized that, that I needed to pull back and started working inside. So we moved from a three-level home to a two-level home and in that process, in an effort to downsize. My husband built me a Zen Room, and it was a separate room. Yeah, he's amazing. A separate room to really tranquil really... A lot of the set wood plank panels on the walls. We look really natural very similar.

This was kind of going on in some areas of it. This is definitely, this manifestation wall, which is what we have now, this place for me to go where my role was, I couldn't take any work in there, I still was working but I was drastically reduced in my expectations for what I was producing a mass, and I would go in there and I was told that if I meditated my body would start to call at a little bit because I got into had gone to the point where I couldn't handle White and sound a lot of the time, and then I would get migraines, and I couldn't sleep. And so all of these factors create a lot of solitude.

And that's what I needed, I needed to not distract myself by what other people needed or what other people wanted and what other people were saying and doing. I had to be by myself and learned to sit with that and I sit with the emotions sit with the fear. So with the internal desire to go and do and just be... And so that is where I moved into and kind of leaned pretty hard into it and it paid off.

It's still pays off, it, it, it's one of the most profound practices that has changed everything. And I was the person that... Any time someone said something about meditating, I'm like, "Are you crazy sitting still have you lost your damn mind?"

I couldn't sit still and my foot was constantly moving, if I had to sit and watch a family movie it was torturous because that was two hours of not doing anything and so, to voluntarily sit and listen to someone else. Tell me how the breath are you kidding me?

But because of that, and I think it's like 16 journals I now have, in the last five years that journaling process, just letting things be as opposed to trying to fix things, leaning into that being still space, not reflecting too far back, not worrying about things too far in the future, that's really where... That's really where things started to change for me internally.

JENN:

So what was the first meditation session? Like just 'cause I know I personally and the go go go, masculine full.

TASHA:

Yeah, I think about head and her Julia and stepping with that feminine space when they tried to make me sit down, I was like... I've been here for 10 seconds, so I was the first a little bit of time, like for you.

So what's funny is I actually got introduced to meditation again, so typical and tracks with my history, I was forced into meditation because I, one of the avenues that I saw it out when traditional medicine couldn't help me and that's been the case for a 95% of my journey that I got acupuncture and the first, and I was terribly I used to call myself what I realized now is I'm just really sensitive. I was so terrified if these needles going in my body, but the expert who had helped me with the food sensitivities, it had given me some kind of life back again, highly suggested that I went and did this, and I had a bunch of friends who were in energy healing and those kinds of things, and I saw was open to the idea, especially more the more and more I was seeing that traditional medicine, at least for me, was not actually helping it was just making me run around so I made the appointment.

I wait into the acupuncture as the office I'm lying on the table. She's telling me in very short sentences, what's happening, what I'm doing. And then she was like, I don't know, 36 or 38 needles from head to toe some of my belly with a heat lamp. Hi Belle. And I was like, "We this kind of cool. And then she turned on some meditation kind of a flute go kind of music and then left and she's still back in 20 minutes I said.

Okay, so she left and within 10 seconds I was like, "Oh my God, I can't move, like I was terrified to make sense, cars gonna hurt myself, right? I was gonna puncture an ARR or something. I don't know how this stuff works.

And I realized at that moment that I'm gonna have to sit still for 20 minutes 'cause I'm held hostage, I can't actually move. And that is how I discover meditation because I was lying there on the table listen to the music and then calming my breath down. Because I was so scared about what was happening, that I ended up realizing that this is what meditation as it's being present with what's going on in the moment, it's not about erasing or avoiding the thoughts, it's not about completely clear in your mind, it's about clearing the judgment from your mind, and it's about allowing yourself to just breathe in your moment and feel and see and experience where you are in the now at least that's one of the versions of meditation. And I was like, "Oh okay, I can see where this isn't beneficial. I find it hilarious that I'd have 38 needles in time, my body for it to happen, but that's tractor, so that that mix about that makes about sense, so... So that's how I did it for... So because I was physically held down and I meditated then I was able to see... Okay, I'll listen to a couple of minutes of a guide, Menotti. On for me. Guide. Meditation was the only way that was gonna happen for probably about a year. That's what I did, I didn't have any kind of silent alone meditation.

Yeah, and that's a really good point to make up as art where you're at the silent clear your thought sitting silence for hours. That's not where you should start, but that's for me. That was what I thought of meditation, yeah, and why I was so terrified to even get into the space and now I'm like, "I go a good teacher. So yeah, you don't know you.

So all of my clients get scared when I suggest meditation. All of them are, most of them are very similar to me. We help the people that have traveled or traveling a similar path.

And what I ended up doing was creating a one-hour course on how to make meditation Made Easy. It doesn't have to be this huge process, but there are so many unknowns because there's no one right way to do it. So I created a step-by-step process that I used and that I've given to friends and staff was throughout the years.

It makes it easy to do to sit down and do it after you've done these first few things beforehand that you can do over time so you're not having to create the space, decide that you're in the mood for, figure out what meditation you're gonna listen to and actually do it and then know what to do while it does you over a woman. 'cause it isn't just to meditate. It is six, seven, set process. And so that's one of the free courses that I have with my membership group.

Oh, that's awesome, yeah. So you say you bring this to clients, the people where are you meeting your clients in their journey right now? You say we all help each other on the past that we were on, which 1% agree. We're all helping transformation even though we're all in the coaching world doing the same kind of thing.

JENN:

Where are you meeting your clients in their journey right now?

TASHA:

So the clients, I'm usually working with have identified that something is just not right, something is missing or there they feel like they're looking around going. I don't know how I got here. And I know that this can't be it. There's something more that I'm posed to do here that isn't about taking care of my kids, although if you're a parent, all of us, love our children, but that is not enough because the idea is if you're good enough or being a parent, they will have actually not need you and so we need something that's above and beyond being the partner being the children and my clients have just identified that, and are not sure how to do something about it. And so we go through the five life elements that I discovered in my journey that have really helped me kind of balance out the work addiction or the complete avoidance of going to work. Because you feel like you can only be a caregiver. And so, we navigate through those five areas based on their own personal unification that that something is just not right. I know I'm missing something.

Yeah, finding that bond and making sure you are part of that ballot then it's such a struggle to make. I don't know, for me, I'm not a parent, but I still struggle just being a wife, then it's like, "Oh my goodness, I'm a fire wife, so my husband's only home a certain number of day and some... And this month it's five days so I feel like I can't do anything else for me on those five days. He's how... But I realize now that I'm still gonna go to the gym, it's an hour of my day I gonna go swim because I really enjoy the water aerobics with all of my older friends.

Yeah, and it's so important to find a way to find that balance. And it took having a coach, I couldn't do it alone.

BOUNDARIES

Oh yeah, oh, for sure. Boundaries are a huge part of our conversations because most of us if we're in the situation where you don't have what you want, it's because you did not learn how to establish boundaries in your relationship with other people, or with yourself.

And so I would say probably 50% of the conversation we have within each life element as the boundaries and how to ask for what you need but also ask for those people that you're in Eccles with those people that do get to have a say in your day-to-day experience in the sense of you respect their feedback, what do they need from you so that you can negotiate those things, how to have those hard conversations so that everybody has what they need and no one feels like they are. The more we don't need to have that syndrome either. And so having those conversations about boundaries, and understanding and accepting that what we need for ourselves to make us feel good is benefiting the person who we are fearfully taking time away from the... So what are some of your non-negotiables for your day? Okay, so that's a great question. And it's one of my favorite topics because I think so few of us have these... So my non-negotiable is, I go to bed early. One of the lasting health stuff, health pieces that I'm using or still working with is my sleep system, so my body started way, EA 330 in the morning, back in probably almost a year ago, and it's just part of mine system still trying to maneuver it's way back to a healthy cycle.

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Yeah, so get out there and see your body with love.

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