Dating after survival will humble you.

In this episode, Charlisa shares a very real (and very telling) post-divorce dating experience — meeting someone online, being invited to a Trail Blazers game planned weeks in advance, and arriving to discover there were no actual seats. What starts off funny quickly becomes revealing.

This conversation goes far beyond the story. Charlisa unpacks what happens when women step into dating after years of survival, why hope can override discernment, and how we sometimes endure situations we’ve already outgrown. This is an honest reflection on attraction versus alignment, politeness versus truth, and learning to trust your intuition without shaming your past self.

If you’ve ever laughed something off that didn’t sit right — this episode is for you.

🔎 REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Where have you mistaken attention or effort for alignment?
2. What discomfort have you minimized to avoid being “difficult” or “too much”?
3. How do you know the difference between hope and discernment in your dating life?
4. What does safety — not excitement — look like for you now?

💬 ENGAGE WITH ME

If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or quietly say “wow… that was me,” I’d love to hear from you.

You can share your reflections by emailing me at [email protected] or sending me a DM on Instagram @mylanibychadowboxx.

This is a space for honesty, not judgment.

Charlisa's narrative unfolds as she delves into the complexities of love and healing post-survival, particularly addressing the experiences of women who venture into the dating realm under the assumption of being fully healed. She draws on her personal journey, recounting a rather humorous yet poignant story from 2017 that serves as a metaphor for the often tumultuous nature of re-entering the dating scene after significant life challenges. Through her encounter, she reflects on the importance of discernment and the lessons learned from mistakenly filling in the gaps with assumptions instead of seeking clarity. This episode emphasizes that while hope is a powerful motivator, it is discernment that ultimately guides one toward healthier relationships, advocating for the need to trust one's instincts and prioritize personal safety over societal expectations of dating norms.

Takeaways:

1. This podcast episode discusses the importance of reflection in the journey of healing and personal evolution.
2. Charlisa shares a personal story about her experience with dating post-divorce, highlighting the lessons learned.
3. The narrative emphasizes that attraction does not equate to compatibility, which is crucial for healthy relationships.
4. Listeners are encouraged to trust their discernment over hope when navigating romantic situations.
5. The discussion highlights the contrast between enduring discomfort and genuinely enjoying one's experiences in dating.
6. Ultimately, love after survival requires safety and intentionality rather than mere excitement or grand gestures.

Mentioned in this episode:

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