Loving other people can be hard. In fact, love always involves tough bits. Because the people whom we love aren’t perfect far from it. And, let’s face it, you and I aren’t perfect either. So when two imperfect people love each other, there’s going to be some conflict, some pain, some hurt and some disappointment. And sometimes, what we want to do is to give up.

The statistics about divorce rates in the western world seem to be on the improve. That’s a surprise to some people. Here in Australia where I live, around 40% of first marriages end in divorce. That’s down slightly from around 43% and all indications are that the trend is continuing. That’s a good thing, right? I suspect things are pretty much the same across the western world.

But what that apparently promising statistic hides, is the reality that far fewer people are getting married in the first place. Most couples these days live together first … the try before you buy model. And a bunch of them come to the conclusion – what’s the point of getting a marriage certificate. Things are just fine the way they are.

And so in a sense, those divorce statistics are being skewed by the fact that, probably, those marriages that were more likely to have failed, didn’t happen in the first place. There don’t appear to be any stats on failed de facto relationships.

It’s funny, although perhaps not all that surprising, how the nature of relationships change, the more affluent a society becomes. When you’re living in poverty, people rely a lot on each other. On community, on family. Those social constructs are vital, in fact, to survival. But the more affluent we become the less reliant we are on one another.

When I was young most wives and mothers worked at home, not outside the home. Marriages hung together more, because it was hard for the woman to leave, even when the man was behaving badly. I’m not saying that men behaving badly is a good thing, nor am I saying that wives being completely financially dependent on their husbands is a good thing. I’m just stating a historical fact.

These days however, many women (depending on where you live of course) are financially independent, so it’s no surprise that most divorces are initiated by women.

My point in all this, is that as we become more affluent, relationships become less important to our survival and therefore more disposable – like an empty takeaway coffee cup. Just through it in the bin. It’s all getting too hard. The pain of dealing with the same faults, the same foibles, the same weaknesses … I just can’t see it getting any better. I’ve had enough. Not just in marriages, but in wider families, amongst so–called friends. That’s it! In the bin.

If you’ve been able to join me on the program over this past week and a half, you’ll know that we’re in the middle of a series of messages called “Love Is”, based on that famous passage about love in first Corinthians in the New Testament. Want to dive into that right now and see what it says about disposable love:

1 Cor 13:7: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Now the Bible says of itself that all scripture is useful for teaching, reproof, correction and training in righteousness. You’ll find that in 2 Tim 3:16 a bit later on in the NT. And that is true. But as scriptures go, I think you’ll struggle to find many verses in the Bible that pack more punch, in so few words, than this one. 1 Cor 13:7. Let me read it again, slowly, just so that you can take it in.

1 Cor 13:7: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Let’s just pull that apart for a moment. Love bears all things. No, there are no exclusions in the fine print. Love bears all things. All the mistakes of the other person. All their failures and foibles. All that they’ve done, are doing and will do wrong. Love, real love, true love – unconditional love, which is the sort of love that is being talked about here – real love bears all things.

I have some dear friends going back many years. And a good many years ago, the husband had an affair – actually, a couple of affairs. And whilst she had to show some tough love, his wife stood by him and all these years on, they are happily married. ALL things. Love also believes all things and hopes all things.

It’s so easy to get discouraged in relationships. Really it is. You know the old Chinese water torture where they’d torture a man by dripping water on his forehead for days on end until each drop felt like a brick. That’s how it is in close relationships too. A person’s weaknesses, when they impact you again and again, end up feeling like torture. You want to give up. You can’t see any hope of things getting better.

Love bears all things, love believes all things and love hopes all things. Love always looks for the good. Love always believes the best and hopes for the best and tries to bring the best out in the other person. Love always finds a way. Love takes that difficult person to God and hands them over to Him.

Lord I can’t help this person but you can. Lord I can’t get through to them but you can. And Lord while you’re working in their life, in their heart, work in mine too. Make me the best husband, the best wife the best parent, the best son or daughter, the best friend that I can possibly be to them. Show me how I can be a help and not a hindrance. Fill me with your Holy Spirit so that I can bear all things, so that I can believe in you, home in you for things to change in Jesus’ name … in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

That’s what love does my friend. And on top of that … love endures all things. Have you ever done endurance training. I have, in the military. There is one thing that all forms of endurance training have in common. They all hurt. A lot. By definition, if you’re doing endurance training, you’re hurting. There is no form of endurance that doesn’t hurt, got it?!

1 Cor 13:7: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Do you see how much punch that verse packs? What would this world look like if we decided just to live out that one verse?

I passionately believe that God is speaking to us – to you and to me – through His Word today. And here’s how it goes. There is such incredible power in the Word of God. I think we Christians often trifle with God’s Word, as though somehow, it’s just words on a page. But no!

Hebr 4:12: Indeed, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two- edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

And that’s what I believe is happening here in our hearts today. I want to take you now into your relationships, the ones that are difficult right at the moment. The ones where you’re losing hope, where you’re feeling as though it’s never, ever, ever going to get any better. I believe those are the relationships that the Lord is speaking into today.

And I believe that He wants you to hear this singular message very clearly: in Him there is hope. In Him you can believe for good things. In Him, in His power, in the power of the Holy Spirit, you can endure all things. And while all this is going on. While you feel the hurt and the pain, He is doing a mighty work in you. He is changing you, softening you, humbling you and getting you ready for the amazing things that lie ahead.

Things that you wouldn’t be able to do, if you hadn’t travelled through these difficult days.

Can I tell you, a couple of decades ago, I went through great hurt and what felt like great harm in this area of love in my life. I met Jesus in that place. And if I hadn’t been through that terrible time back then, I wouldn’t be able to share the love of God with you today as I do.

There is hope, in Christ and Christ alone. And I’m absolutely convinced that that’s the good news that He wants you to hear today.

God’s Word is so powerful isn’t it? And I’m praying that right now, and over the coming days and weeks, He will be working in your heart so that His love will pour into you and overflow out of you into the parched, dry lives of so many of the people around you.

And to help you with that, you can listen to each of the messages in this series again, right now, online at christianityworks.com. Just click on the A Different Perspective icon at the bottom of the homepage and you’ll see them all right there.

You can stream them online, download the audio or transcript, even subscribe to the podcast.

And while you’re there, check out the treasure trove of free resources – like the Christianityworks daily eDevotional. Words of inspiration, hope and encouragement delivered right to your inbox, on your smartphone, tablet or computer each weekday.

It’s all about helping you live out each and every day in the victory that Jesus came to give you. And, like everything else on the site, it’s completely free. That web address again is christianityworks.com.

Lord I just pray for each one of us. I pray that you will truly fill us with your love. I pray that your power will fill us to overflowing. I pray that your Spirit will show us the opportunities before us to love the unlovable. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m Berni Dymet and I’ll catch you again, same time tomorrow , with … A Different Perspective.