If you’ve seen the viral “Bird Theory” on TikTok, someone says, “I saw a bird today,” and captures their partner’s reaction, then you’ve just glimpsed into the ever-evolving meme world.

This one has real science behind it. The trend repackages John and Julie Gottman’s research on “bids for connection”, tiny attempts to engage, and what partners do next: turn toward, turn away, or turn against.

In longitudinal studies, couples who stayed together, "turned towards" the bids ~86% of the time; those who later divorced did so ~33%. These “small” moments add up to a big predictor of resilience.

To read our full article on Substack: https://substack.com/@theirreverentapproach/note/p-187868960?r=o3jrh&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web