There are people in this world who seem so … confident, that it borders on over–confidence. Boastfulness. Arrogance. Even rudeness.  You know the sort. So … how much do you enjoy being around those people?   

It makes the world go round. Countless songs have been sung about it. And yet it seems to me that in this modern day world, many of us have forgotten how to love.

People are working longer and longer. Add to that the traffic, the commute, the crush at the train station, the crush at the local shopping mall, and nerves are frayed, tempers are boiling over.

It wears you out, doesn’t it? It’s tiring, exhausting. So we withdraw into our shells and try to shut it all out. You know that feeling of plonking yourself down on the couch at the end of a hard day and just being glad that the rest of the world is out there and you’re in here.

So you get to the end of a hard day like that, perhaps the end of a hard week, and you think to yourself, who are the people that I’ve encountered who stand out from the crow? Who treated me well? Who treated me badly? Have you ever done that? Why not do it now. In your mind do a quick stocktake of the people who’ve treated you well, and those who have treated you badly.

For most, there’s a real imbalance between the good and the bad there. And my theory is that the reason for that, is that we’ve forgotten how to be a community in our clamour to get ahead. We’ve forgotten how to love one another.

And in a sense, that’s what this series is all about – a rediscovery of what love is. Going back to God’s Word, since, after all God is love, and rediscovering from God what love was always meant to be.

Love is patient, love is kind. We’ve looked at that. But right now, let’s go to the second half of that verse in 1 Cor 13:4, which tells us what love isn’t. This is what it says:

Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

That’s quite a list isn’t it? Envy, boastfulness, arrogance, rudeness all bundled in together. I wonder why. Well, it turns out that they’re all symptoms of a much deeper malady. And that malady is insecurity.

Think about it. What makes you envious? Someone else has something that you don’t. They’re better looking, they have a better spouse, more money, bigger house. They seem to be more happy and content than you are. They have more friends. They enjoy their job. Whatever it is they have something that you don’t. So you compare, and you covet, you desire, you envy what they have.

Never mind that you have this and that and the other thing that they don’t have. Out of a deep sense of insecurity, you envy them. And so then, to bolster yourself up, you boast about what you do have.

Boastfulness is the other side of the coin to envy. People talk themselves up, they tell others how good they are, they name–drop, they …

It’s a vicious sad cycle. Those people come across as being arrogant and rude, all because deep inside, something is missing. It’s insecurity. It’s discontentment. It hurts and so it comes out as envy, boastfulness, arrogance and rudeness.

Let me ask you simply and kindly, do you have any of that in your life? Come on, be honest with yourself. Take a good hard look. Because if that’s happening in your life, you are going to struggle to love other people, the way Jesus loved you.

Before I came to Christ, I was that guy. I wanted everyone to think well of me. I wanted everyone to be impressed with me. I remember the deep sense of envy I felt, when someone else succeeded. It felt as though their success was my loss. It’s a terrible state of affairs.

And so I would boast about my success, and, I’m told, it came across as arrogance and rudeness. You can’t build healthy relationships like that. You can’t show love like that.

For me, it began to change when I met Jesus. When I started to experience His love. I don’t mean that in a clichéd kind of way. Seriously, I remember sitting quietly in prayer, during the dark time in my life, being filled by His Spirit and His love.

The Bible says that God’s perfect love conquers all our fears. And that’s how it was for me. You see, I couldn’t stop that envy, boasting, arrogance and rudeness until I experienced healing inside. It’s not enough to say – don’t do those things, change your behaviour, because our behaviour is simply a manifestation, a symptom of what’s going on in our hearts.

Murder begins in the heart Jesus said. Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. And unless and until we experience the amazing love of Jesus for ourselves, we can’t heal ourselves. The world will tell you – modify your behaviour. Simple, done.

Yet people see psychologists and counsellors for years … years and they don’t see improvement. There’s a reason for that. It’s because only the love of God in Jesus Christ can bring you that healing. I looked and I looked everywhere. I was successful on the outside but lost and empty and insecure on the inside.

I can tell you … I looked everywhere. And over two decades ago now, when I encountered Jesus for myself, that’s where I found the healing on the inside that I was looking for. The healing that I so desperately needed.

Psalm 34:17–20: When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to the broken–hearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord rescues them from them all.

That’s simply what God does. That’s why Jesus came, to give sight to the blind, to bind up the broken–hearted, to set the captives free.

And perhaps you’ve never experienced this perfect love of God. Perhaps you’ve been listening today and you ache to have that love heal you on the inside, to set you free to truly love others around you.

Well, I’d like to give you that opportunity today. If you want to accept Jesus Christ into your life, why don’t you pray this prayer with me:

Father God, I’ve been listening today about your amazing love. And I know .. I know that I need some healing on the inside. I’ve been searching and looking and today, as I’ve heard about Jesus, I feel like I’ve finally found what I’ve been yearning for. Please forgive me for all the stupid things that I’ve done in my life. I’m so sorry. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I believe that He did come to die for me so that my sins could be forgiven. I believe that Jesus rose again from the grave so that I could have a new life for ever. I accept Jesus as my Saviour and my Lord. I put all my trust in Him. Please accept me today just as I am, and heal me from the inside out. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

If you just prayed that prayer with me, you are forgiven. You’re set free and the Holy Spirit will come and live in you to make that healing start to happen.

Go find yourself a Bible–believing, vibrant, faith–filled church that preaches Christ, that serves and loves the poor and needy. And you will grow immeasurably, as Jesus deals with all of the things in your life that you yourself can’t deal with.

God loves you more than words can say. Let that love transform your life. Love isn’t envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. God’s perfect love is gentle and kind. And I guarantee that as the weeks, months and years pass by, that love will transform you into who He always meant you to be.

I’m so excited to know that God’s love is working in you right now. My prayer for you is that as you get to know Him more and more, you’ll discover the hope that you have in Christ, the rich inheritance you have for the future, and the immeasurably great power that God will pour out on you to transform your life.

An that’s my passion, to see your life transformed and the lives of many others. That’s why this program that you’ve just been listening to is heard not just here on your station, but through over 1300 stations in 160 countries.

And that’s also why you can access so many more free teaching resources online at christianityworks.com. Like the Christianityworks daily eDevotional. Words of inspiration, hope and encouragement sent to your inbox each weekday, to help you live in the victory that Jesus died and rose again to give you. You’ll see the eDevotional icon on our homepage.

And there are so many other resources there. Free downloads. The audio lounge with thousands of messages sorted by categories to make it easier to find what you need right at the moment.

That’s all, online at christianityworks.com – everything on the site is completely free. Because I want to see you experience the amazing, transformational love of God through Jesus, not just so that your life will be changed, but so that God’s love will flow out through you into this lost and hurting world.

It’s been great to be able to spend this time with you today. I’m Berni Dymet and I’ll catch you again, same time tomorrow, with … A Different Perspective.