Ever wondered the secrets to a hot, steamy, passionate marriage? Look no further than Melissa Gorga's book. Basically, it comes down to a few simple things:

1. Marry someone rich

2. Stay home all day making sure the house is perfectly clean and dinner is ready at exactly the time your husband gets home from work

3. Stay in shape (toned, not bulky, ladies)

4. Be at your husband's beckoned call sexually

There you have it! Now go listen to our review, which is really us just rage-talking for an hour and some change. Enjoy!