Letter that I wrote to myself:

June 26, 2023

Are you really hurting or are you just giving the final push to a goodbye that should have happened a long time ago? Release it. Let it go. The frustration , the anger, the resentment. They don’t belong to you. Be proud that you learned to trust again. Find joy in the fact that you learned the lesson. You can now better define what you do and don’t want. You aren’t looking for a prince you are a queen. And I have called you out of the caves to rise up to spread your wings fully. Don’t go back to the despair that isolated you from the people you love. Don’t look back at it with rose colored glasses of regret. It was a season of comfort. A season of learning lessons you couldn’t learn on your own. 

You did well, you did what I asked of you. Well done good and faithful servant. You humbled yourself, you found the bottom of the pool. This is the push off. This is the fastest way to the surface and you can’t bring any of the pain with you. It’s too heavy. You choose. You choose your response and you told me My Will. That means not yours. That means you let me, you surrender, you trust me. I have never left you. I have never forsaken you. I didn’t give you an easy path. But I have walked beside you every day in the voices of the people that you would listen to when you couldn’t hear me. You aren’t too old. You aren’t too much. You were meant to love people. You were destined to be a pathway to healing. 

So tonight I sit with you and I minister to you so that you can take that to the others. Your courage your voice your story. Rise up and leave all of that here. Its covered in the blood and it’s mine now. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. It wasn’t your dream. You will spread your wings, you will experience things you can’t even imagine. Don’t get tied up in it. Don’t get bound by what everyone else has. The gift I gave you is greater. 

Amen and Selah.