Do you know that the intent behind your words is usually irrelevant?  Have you ever been on the receiving end of hurtful, accidental words and the offender begins explaining what they really meant? At that moment it’s irritating and it’s irrelevant, because in those moments, we don’t need an explanation. In those moments when we’ve been hurt by someone’s words we really need something else.  This week we look at what we really need when hurtful words have been spoken.

James 3:2-6

1. Read James 3:5–6. What stands out to you? What are some ways our words compare to a fire?

2. Can you remember a story (funny or otherwise) when you said one thing and meant something entirely different?  What happened?

3. Why do we rush to explain ourselves rather than simply owning our guilt? Explaining feels urgent and appropriate in the moment. Why?

4. What can you do to remind yourself to opt for humility and sensitivity rather than an explanation next time you start a “word fire”?

5. Talk through the Matthew 18 process of restoring a friendship: