May: On Love

May 15

Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Thomas Merton's book No Man Is an Island.

Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to figure out the secret: that love—real love—is a radical acceptance of your friend, family member, or partner. It’s not liking the same things. It’s not running in the same crowd. It’s not about sharing the same physical space day after day. It’s not loving someone for the potential you believe they have, or for the expectations you’ve set for them in your mind. It’s not about trying to reshape them to better fit your personality or your needs. It’s loving them for who they are. Right here and right now.

And besides, if you really loved them, why would you want them to be more like you? Why would you want to change them?

You wouldn’t.* 

*Unless, of course, they were actively harming themselves or others.

• Reflection title: Love Them for Who They Are
• Creative inspiration: Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island
• Reflection Question: Do I love my partner, my friends, my children, and my family for who they are now—not for who I want them to be? Not for who I imagine they could become if they just changed this or that?